MotSaG TV Guide

College Football is back just in time for a long holiday weekend! You can celebrate the end of your 234-day sports prison sentence by watching games for five straight days (if you agree to lower your standards a little).

Thursday

6:00pm

North Carolina at South Carolina. You would think this game would happen more often than it does, but there is no historical animosity to fuel a good old-fashioned border-war college football rivalry. The colony of Carolina split so amicably in 1712 that it makes Bruce and Demi look like Alec and Kim (I had to Google that entire sentence). UNC is probably good enough to keep things interesting at least until you finish your wings. (ESPN)

8:00pm

Utah State at Utah. Last year, the Aggies’ overtime victory broke a 12-year drought in the Battle of the Brothers, which is apparently what this game is called. But, hey, at least they’ve got a proper rivalry going (looking at you, Carolinas). The last time USU won by more than a touchdown was 1979, a year that brought us Apocalypse Now, “My Sharona,” and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. (FS1)

9:15pm

Ole Miss at Vanderbilt. This is the marquee matchup of the night, according to the Worldwide Leader In Making Things Up Off The Top Of Their Heads. Neither of these teams is going to win its division and both will probably end up in bowl games against Big East teams. It’s Middle-Of-The-Packtion!!! But you do what you want; I’m not here to tell you what to watch. Oh wait, that’s exactly what I’m here to do. (ESPN)

Friday

8:00pm

Florida Atlantic at Miami (FL). This probably won’t be a very good game, but former Owls and Hurricanes coach Howard Schnellenberger will be an honorary captain for both teams, so flip it on to see a confused old man cheering for everything. (ESPNU)

Texas Tech at SMU. In 2002, Ohio State beat Texas Tech 45-21 to begin their journey to a national championship. Tech’s quarterback in that game was Heisman hopeful Kliff Kingsbury. He is now their head coach. You are old. That is all. (ESPN)

Saturday

Noon

Buffalo at Ohio State. This is the game you will be watching. Read about it here. (ESPN2)

5:30pm

Alabama vs. Virginia Tech. Maybe the college football season starts right here, with a stunning upset of the #1 two-time defending national champions by a team that needed overtime to beat Rutgers in a bowl game last year. Maybe make the reservations for 7:00. (ESPN)

8:00pm

Georgia at Clemson. Easily the game of the week, this will be Clemson’s third consecutive outing against an SEC opponent. It should be a QB duel for the ages: Tahj Boyd is a legitimate Heisman contender, while Aaron Murray got the SEC coaches’ first-team nod over last year’s Heisman winner and a two-time national champ. (ABC)

10:30pm

Northwestern at California. Stay up late and scout two of Ohio State’s better upcoming opponents in what should be a entertaining game. (ESPN2)

Sunday

11:45am

Florida A&M vs. Mississippi Valley. Do some more scouting in your PJs while you watch the MEAC/SWAC Challenge presented by Disney. This is really happening. (ESPN)

3:30pm

Ohio at Louisville. Yet another opportunity for National Championship/Heisman hopes to come crashing down in week one, as Teddy Bridgewater leads the Cardinals against the upset-minded Bobcats, whose own Tyler Tettleton is already the school’s all-time leading passer. (ESPN)

Monday

8:00pm

Florida State at Pittsburgh. This is your only chance to watch football today, so take what you can get. It will probably be a blow-out by halftime, but stranger things have happened. On the bright side, this game will either make FSU fans or the equally unbearable Mark May sad. (ESPN)

Comments

  1. Middle-Of-The-Packtion

    You, sir, get the gold star of the day. That is gold right there.

  2. Kliff Klingsbury was a great hire for TT… he said he wants to have the fastest offense ever and avg 150 plays a game lol. If he can play a little defense they might be decent…. Also we are OLD

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