Who will play the role of Sgt Hulka this weekend for OSU?

September 4, 2008 by 6 Comments


Per “Jimmy T” Call-In Show, Beanie is a “no go” for this weekend.

This shouldnt really surprise anyone.

Lighten up Francis…Contrary to the popular belief of every mainstream media mouthbreather out there, the sky is not falling this week or the following week. Whether Wells plays this week orthe following, OSU will be lucky to stay within 12 touchdowns of the New England Patri…errr…USC Trojans. Just relax and enjoy the ride…and watch TP get some additional playing time this weekend.

Obviously…
Boom, Saine, and the other Wells (Maurice) will serve the running game just fine.

Filed Under: Ohio State Football Tagged With:

ESPN ships eleventy-billion dollars to SEC. SEC ADs spend immediately on Jorts, Corn Dogs, and a Case of Lucky Strikes

August 27, 2008 by 1 Comment

Not sure if you heard the news…

EPSN has locked broadcasting rights to all of the SEC games that are not covered by CBS. Eisner’s Army ponied up a total of 2.25 billion dollars for the next 15 years of…SHESH-SHEE-SHEE SHPEED…

This means a few things to college football, ESPN, and the world in general…

  1. First off…ESPN played this one smart. According to the Mayan calendar, we are all toast on 12/21/2012. They get “all SEC…all the time” until the rapture.
  2. The SEC Network came and went so fast…ahem…that’s too easy.
  3. ESPN the Ocho is one step closer to becoming a reality and will feature Ole Miss every week. Comcast and Time Warner will add this channel to their respective line-ups immediately…for no apparent financial benefit.
  4. Jefferson-Pilot Broadcasters will move to ESPN and join Speilman for all ESPN2 SEC 12PM ET broadcasts. In all likelihood, Speilman will tear off one of the two Daves’ arms and beat both of them to death with it before the sixth week of the season.
  5. Stuart Scott will now be destined to perform color commentary for SEC games. God help us all…
  6. College Gameday will perform a weekly spotlight piece on proper sun-dress wear at SEC games compared to the standard “Fat Chick in Draper jersey” seen with extreme regularity at the Big House.
  7. ESPN will re-hire (he is obviously not busy) Nick Lachey to sing the alma mater of the visiting team on top of each home team SEC stadium, which will lead to the SEC’s weekly version of the “Nick Lachey’s The Running Man”
  8. All commericals during ESPN SEC broadcasts will consist of the following: Atlanta Braves on TBS, Chik-fil-a, Wrangler Jeans (with Dale Jr…duh) and a modest portion of Sham-WOW spots.
  9. College Football Live will turn off spell-check on messages (you know the ones that show during each of the segments) originating from SEC states. Ironlically, these messages will look a lot like a result of JoePa smashing his Blackberry with a tack hammer. More irony, Paul Pozluzny made like 15 more tackles and threw his Butkus award at AJ Hawk (as he was making another solo tackle), while I was writing this elegant piece of literary mediocrity.
  10. Chris Fowler, Corso, and Herbie will now sport “the Flop” as the hair style of choice (See every male student at Auburn or Alabama) to cater the growing demographic. Jorts will be discussed, but Corso refuses to sport the jorts, due to fears of a potential baby arm sighting from the bottom of his favorite pair of Daisy Dukes. Desmond will be required to shave racing stripes in his hair to achieve the look of SEC D-Lineman fast, which just isnt possible with his BigTeleven roots.
  11. A new ticker will run at the bottom of the screen on Saturdays listing the 40 times of every player that has ever played in the SEC. Sponsored by Dr. Pepper.

If this doesnt get you pumped up for a Youngstown State game, to quote a great doctor …”you are lifeless and dead”.

Filed Under: College Football, Miscellany Tagged With: ,

Click…Click…”Thug Life”

August 6, 2008 by 7 Comments

The above headline conveys an entirely different context to UGA and Bama fans this offseason, but to the OSU faithful it can really mean only one thing…duh…

Ohio State has started tinkering with the “Pistol” offensive set. This offense has been linked to a few teams in D-1, but is exclusively showcased by the Nevada Wolfpack. I am pretty sure that most OSU fans heard the rumors in the offseason, but it was on display for BTN subscribers to view last night at the OSU televised practice.

Chris Ault's Pistol Offense Wiki
“Pistol” formation

With this formation, it would seem that having Todd or TP in the gun position with Beanie, Saine, or Herron behind them would cause all kinds of havoc for the linebacker corps, as they would have to wait a an extra second to the see the tailback come from behind the QB before committing run or pass. It should also give Todd or TP an extra second or more for the passing game. I am by no means an expert on these topics, but any additional flavor or trickeration to the OSU offense will always be a good thing, as it varies from vanilla to butter pecan throughout the season.

Other Benefits and refuting some misconceptions of the Pistol Offensive Set from the “The Pack Critic Blog”

The advantage that the Pistol provides over a standard shotgun is that it allows a true north/south running game, but it also gives the passing game the advantages of the shotgun. The Pistol isn’t so much an offense as it is a framework for an offense. You can run a huge variety of offenses out of the basic Pistol formations.

While I dont imagine this will replace the standard “I-Formation” in the OSU Playbook anytime soon (try…ever), you can already see where this is going…*giggle giggle*

i can haz Pistol offense?

Filed Under: College Football, Ohio State Football Tagged With: ,

A History Lesson provided by Jacobs Field

August 5, 2008 by 3 Comments

Cleveland IndiansEvery once in a while a special moment will occur for the general sports fan. Sometimes these moments will include your favorite team, which can be all sorts of awesome or a craptastic dose of terribleness.

Being an Indians fans has been a tough go for the YNBA this season and most seasons, but there have been a few occaisions, such as seven years ago today, that will always manifest a little warmth in my heart (notably the sub-cockle region). The Cleveland Indians trailed the Seattle Mariners 14-2 in the seventh inning at Jacob’s Field. Yeah…if you dont remember the outcome, believe it..the Indians scored 12 runs over the final 3 innings to tie the game and added another in the 11th inning to win 15-14.

Omar Vizquel

Joel Skinner…Holding people at 3rd Base since 2001.

(HT: Mistake by the Lake Sporting Times)

Filed Under: Baseball Tagged With:

ZOMG!!!! The Pre-Season Coaches Poll is out!!! A Top 3 “Dine and Dash”

August 1, 2008 by 2 Comments

It is the moment that everyone has been waiting for since whenever…

The first installment of poll provided by the coaches (ahem…Grad Assistants and University SIDs) was released in this morning’s USA Today. The “Top 5” looks about right with one glaring exception. Let’s take a quick gander at just the “Top 3” shall we?

Top 3 (First-Place Votes)
1. Georgia (22) – This probably looks familiar to OSU fans. Let’s get on the time machine and head back to 2006. It is amazing how much a whooping on a terrible opponent in a BCS Bowl game can propel you for the next season. We’ll see if Stafford has the capabilities to be a “talisman” for the Bulldogs, or if he turns into the SEC’s version of Anthony Morelli (Million-dollar arm…Ten cent head). Obviously, Moreno is going to bring it, but it will be intersting to see how the carries get split up between him and super-frosh Caleb King.

2. USC (14) – Obviously shirtless video of Pete Carroll and his coaching staff…and “for the love of all things holy” players have created a positive effect for the USC preseason ranking. For a team that has a myriad of questions on the offensive-side of the ball outside of McKnight, a top two ranking is somewhat high (and by high I mean…borerline ridiculous). Oh well, I guess this will be settled on 9/13 when the Trojans host…

3. Ohio State (14) – Returning 40 of the 44 on last season’s two deep, this was supposed to be the year that OSU made a run for the MNC. However, the goal was almost (not really) achieved last season and unfortunately lead to another loss to an SEC team in the BCS Championship game. Enjoy this season Buckeye fans, this is definitely one of Tressel’s most talented teams (if not the most talented Tressel team). If OSU goes into the USC’s backyard and wins convincingly, Georgia will move to #2 no matter how many SEC coaches vote.

Alright. I feel a little dirty now for providing some abbreviated analysis, as poor as it may have been.

Filed Under: College Football, Ohio State Football Tagged With: ,

We cry, we cry…on the 28th of July

July 28, 2008 by 2 Comments

We are a few weeks away from the beginning of fall camp and you can see that the mainstream college football writers are starting to get back in the swing of things. Obviously, there can only be so many Barwis articles written before you want to stab yourself in the face with a rusty butter knife.

So, we went from Barwis puff pieces to this…

“At the same time are you tired of seeing Ohio State get beat in the championship (that) bad? It’s not fair.“

The man that I tend to refer to as “The Crazy Uncle” of college football writers, “Dennith Dodd,” decided to layout the idea that the voters are sick and tired of seeing our beloved Buckeyes lose to SEC teams in the BCS Championship each year. Original thought…I know.

The “Let’s give someone else a chance” stance by Dodd is a bit ‘re-donk-ulous’ and ultimately is something that I would expect to see out of a biased SEC Blog. You do have to give “Dennith” some credit though. I mean, he did ask someone from the Birmingham News (ahem…lookie me…no bias) if they thought OSU should be given the opportunity again. The answer (above) from the Birmingham News columnist was reserved (afterwards quietly under his breath saying “Roll Tide…SHESH-SHEE-SHEE”), but you could tell from the statement that he was being as PC as possible in his reply. I really dont have too many issues with the article itself, but…

I am not understanding how the SEC media became the “end all, be all” sources for hard-hitting journalistic college footbaw information. You may say “YNBA, why the angst with an opinion piece..within your opinion piece?” Call me “old-fashioned,” but I think an unbiased source (outside of number-crunchin’ Jerry Palm) would be a nice touch. Hell, give us Phil Steele. His information and opinions are at least researched and genuine.

This type of stuff always revolves around the SEC now, which is pretty much the norm at this point. I think most of us have graciously accepted that the SEC is a very good conference with an assortment of “damn strong football teams.” Regardless, it gets a little stale that all of the media wants us to believe that Atlanta is the NHL-equivalent of Toronto and that all communiques originating from the ‘404’ are to be treated as the “golden bible” of college football prognostication. Any attempts of obtaining opinions from other locales is borderline heresy and could result in high-treason. Digressing…digressing…

Bottom line…

Look, all of us Northerners realize the tough stretch of any SEC schedule (which any god-lovin’ SEC fan will argue to no end, inlcudes Ole Miss, Kentucky, and Vanderbilt) is equivalent to the yearly sherpa marking of the Khumbu Icefall. However, any BCS team that can navigate it’s own schedule (regardless of BCS conference affilation) to an undefeated regular season deserves to be in that MNC game. It is that simple. If OSU goes undefeated this year along with two other teams, it would be better to evaluate the situation at that point. Not in July or August (I’m looking at you Dennith). I’m just sayin’…

Filed Under: College Football, Ohio State Football Tagged With: ,

Who is YNBA? Why am I here? Stop yelling at me!!

July 23, 2008 by Leave a Comment

Blog

So…You may have noticed a new moniker posting on MotSaG.

YNBA…

Who is this guy?

If the smell of warm Hefeweizen and stale GORP has an air of familiarity, don’t be scared. You are in the presence of a manufacturer of bookish mediocrity…

YNBA (“You’ll Never Buckeye Alone”) or the artist formerly known as “Herringbone” from Death Cab for Woody has made the move to MotSaG. If you are fretting for new material at DCfW (I mean…seriously…who isn’t?), continue to fret good people, because the site has “gone the way of the dodo” and ceases to be. Don’t expect new material…evah.

Why is he here?

The fine gentleman at MotSaG were gracious enough to extend an offer to an aging veteran in the twilight of his short blogging career in hopes of kindling a literary rapture. Much love to the sportsMonkey and el Kaiser.

What will he do?

Well…after this post, he will no longer write about himself in the third person, but he digresses…

For those of you familiar with my style of writing (some people have and will continue to call it drivel), it contains copious amounts of sarcasm with a dash of angst towards anyone that is considered as a “fanatic” In my world, a fanatic is a person who simply refuses to let things like facts or evidence get in the way of a belief (I’m looking at you SHESH-SHEE-SHEE fan…and Carson Palmer). The correct mixture of this angst and sarcasm will sometimes result in a finely prepared quiche of unadulterated sports lovin’ ready to satisfy the palate of the OSU sports fans that already frequent this site.

Seriously…I look forward to trying to keep up with the current level of awesomeness that already exists at MotSaG and, again, thank sportsMonkey and el Kaiser for the opportunity.

Filed Under: Blogging, Miscellany Tagged With:

West Ham Fans? Really?

July 23, 2008 by Leave a Comment

CrewA short note on this one…

The Hammers of West Ham United FC (middle-of-the-road English Premier League soccer team) are currently on a short tour to play a few “friendlies” against the MLS All-Stars and started with a fixture against Columbus in Crew Stadium on Saturday evening.

Apparently a group of West Ham fans decided it would be a good idea to mess with the Hudson Street Hooligans at Crew Stadium, during the first West Ham “friendly” this past weekend. The H-Street Hooligans are an extremely rowdy section of Crew followers located in the northeast corner of Crew Staium that would be somewhat equivalent to “The Kop” at Anfield on massive amounts of valium. After a small altercation where the Ohio State Highway Patrol was called in to restore peace, there are a few questions that need to be addressed.

  1. How did all the six of the US contingent of West Ham fans find their way to Columbus?
  2. Can the MLS guarantee that this behavior will continue at every game? Toronto already does it’s part. I, for one, cant wait for Philly to get it’s expansion team. If yes, I may double the amount of season tickets that I may purchase for the Seattle Sounders FC in 2009.

Ahh…”The Beautiful Game”…Indeed.

Now back to regularly scheduled Buckeye programming.

Filed Under: Columbus Crew Soccer Tagged With:
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