Archives for November 2009

Penn State flushes Rose Bowl hopes

paternoPressFootballSTATE COLLEGE, PA — In his postgame press conference, Penn State coach Joe Paterno had no answers for his team’s odious performance against the Buckeyes.

“We stunk up the place,” said the elder coach, his brown coffee steaming in the chilly November air. “Ya gotta give credit to those guys; they just ripped us a new one.”

The Lions entered the game having laid waste to the chocolate cupcakes that filled the first half of their season. But the Buckeyes lit a match under their ground game and amassed an easy 228 yards against the nation’s #5 ranked rush defense.

pryorScramblePSU09“Those runs, those runs,” complained linebacker Sean Lee, who was manhandled throughout the game by a fired-up Buckeye O-line. “We tried to grunt our way through it, but we couldn’t get any reverse penetration.” He also drew attention to the lackluster passing defense. “We dropped a deuce. Two TDs. We haven’t done that all year. On that third quarter bomb to Posey, I saw it and was immediately yelling ‘Code Brown!! Code Brown!!’ which is our fire drill for the safety to cover the long snake route. We just let that one slip away. We tried to get T.P. all day long, but just ended up with mud all over our hands and faces.”

Paterno agreed. “We laid turds on special teams, too. That number 82, what’s his name, Small, he’s shifty. Had our gunners leaving skid marks in the turf trying to take the angles to catch him. After the first punt return, some of the coaches were over there to the coverage team and trying to get them to let the corn out, you know? Grow a tail, quit with the trots to the line of scrimmage, get out there and tackle. But they let another one happen later. Ah, well. Jimmy’s got a good ball club over there.”

With losses to Iowa and OSU, Penn State can hope to finish no higher than third in the conference. Senior QB Daryl Clark says the team’s focus has changed. “Yeah, we were hoping for the Rose or a national title shot, you know? It’s been a long season, and some of the younger kids are just pooped. But now we seniors just have to lead and get the team to finish out and do our best to get Coach Paterno to the best bowl we can. That’s when he’s at his best – when he’s not too far from a nice bowl.”

JoePaPoopingHimselfAsked if he could make it to a bowl, Paterno said, “Depends. We’ve got a lot of running to do.” And athletic fundamentals aren’t the only focus, as Paterno has plans to bring in a series of motivational speakers to give pregame speeches. “Yeah, we’re gonna try it. I’ve got a rather unorthodox friend – a big bald guy with a cigar – he’ll show up at the bowl at least. We’ll try whatever we can.”

2009 Blogpoll Ballot, Week #10 (draft)

Rank Team Delta
1 Alabama 2
2 Texas 1
3 Florida 1
4 Cincinnati 4
5 Boise State
6 TCU 1
7 Georgia Tech 4
8 Houston 4
9 Ohio State 5
10 Southern Cal 3
11 LSU 1
12 Oregon 6
13 Pittsburgh 2
14 Iowa 10
15 Miami (Florida) 1
16 Utah 1
17 Penn State 8
18 West Virginia
19 Arizona
20 Wisconsin 1
21 Oklahoma State 1
22 Stanford
23 Navy
24 Brigham Young
25 Auburn
Last week’s ballot

Dropped Out: Notre Dame (#18), Oklahoma (#20), California (#23), Mississippi (#25).

Please forgive, but this was done in an sleep-deprived haze. I know something is going to be wrong. Tell me about it.

Daryll Clark Sack Face

I’m trying really hard not to be a jerk and rub this in, but indulge me this one time. Then we’ll get to discussing the game tomorrow.

Ohio St Penn St Football


More on this later, obviously, but man did that win do wonders for the soul.


Gameday Open Thread and Live in-game Chat

FootballOSU FootballAnother day of that sweet, beautiful game. Drop any comments, thoughts and gripes in the comments.

After a half of play in the books for the early games, I’m rather interested how Houdini Iowa is getting out of this one. Seriously though, will anyone notice if Stanzi is on the sidelines? Vandberg (Stanzi’s backup) came in and promptly picked up where Stanzi left off, throwing the ball to the wrong team.

Okay, people, it’s time to stop comparing the 2009 Hawkeyes to the 2002 Buckeyes. One of those team had a competent quarterback. And the other team are the Hawkeyes.

The OSU/PSU in-game chat will be after the jump.

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New uniforms revealed early?

11W has a pic of the throwback uniforms announced earlier (and were supposed to be unveiled next week). No confirmation, but looks about right to me.

I am personally excited about these new unis. I love the idea of the throwback, and I love old Buckeye uniforms. I am not, however, impressed with the Athletic Department’s ability to keep these things a secret until the “big reveal.” We’re living in the internet age, people. There are no secrets…

I must break you


Week #10: Penn State Preview and Open Thread

OSU FootballThe 2009 version of Ohio State’s 2nd biggest rival is not as good as advertised. To date, they have played one quality opponent and lost. Their out-of-conference schedule was about as weak as Pee-Wee Herman before puberty.

PSU’s OOC Schedule
Eastern Illinois (1AA)

The above gaggle of teams is an embarrassment to Penn State and the rest of the Big Ten. But with that said, the Nittany Lions dug deep and somehow powered through their OOC schedule in heroic form. The only teams missing from this stellar collection of world beaters were East Poughkeepsie Tech, Baghdad School for the Criminally Insane and Nationwide Insurances softball team.

The bottom line is that Penn State scheduling these teams only hurts them against teams like Iowa and Ohio State . Against Iowa, Penn State struggled to move the ball the entire game and Daryll Clark had his worst game of his career. On the other side of the ball Iowa was able to run the ball the entire night finishing with 163 yards on the ground.

If one takes a look at OSUs/PSUs common opponents, the results are similar: both teams handled their business on their way to easy wins.

Common Opponents
Illinois 30-0 35-17
Minnesota 38-7 20-0

For all the flak that Ohio State gets regarding their offense, they have outscored even mighty Penn State and their dynamic spread HD offense. Penn State does have the nation’s #1 defense, but Id guess that if Penn State actually had to play good football teams that rank would be different. Even though Ohio State has clearly played the tougher schedule, Ohio State has the 6th best defense in the country. Very impressive.

Daryll Clark, the Penn State quarterback, has been inconsistent when the light has been the brightest on the Nittany Lions. Last year he played poorly against Ohio State [and he didn’t even finish the game -ed], Iowa and USC. This year, against Iowa he was awful. Many people talk about Terrelle Pryor being a weakness for Ohio State, yet somehow Clark gets a free pass.

In big games, Clark has averaged 169 yards passing, less than a TD, almost 2 INTs, and 48.65% of his passes completed per big game. Not good. With numbers like those I believe Clark should move to wide receiver, at least for big games. This Ohio State defense will be the best defense he has played all year.

Now make no mistake, this Penn State team is a talented one. They will be at home and they will be hungry. Their defense is one of the best in the country and will be facing a very young, inexperienced and inconsistent offense.

The fact is, no one knows how good this Penn State team really is. Year after year, they seem to schedule the weakest opponents under the sun and this year was one of the worst Ive ever seen from them.

Keys For Each Team

Ohio State Offense:

  1. No turnovers — The Buckeyes cannot afford to put their defense in bad positions time after time. Please see Purdue game.
  2. At least two Earth shattering plays by Pryor will be needed. Either running or passing, Pryor needs to deliver a couple knockout blows.
  3. Get Jordan Hall carries lots of them.
  4. Minimize drive killing penalties.

Penn State Offense:

  1. Make sure Joe Paternos milk is warm before pregame.
  2. Get Royster and Chaz Powell (TE) involved vs. Buckeye LBers in the passing game. Both players are deadly.
  3. Prepare Paternos Everybody Poops station at halftime. Make sure to stock Depends and baby wipes every 25 feet.

Ohio State Defense:

  1. PSU runs a pro style offense, very close to what USC does. Just not as good. Dont change a thing from that game plan.
  2. Attack the edges. Ohio States strength comes from its defensive line. Gibson and Williams need huge games.
  3. Create turnovers. If Ohio State wins this battle, they win rather easily.

Penn State Defense:

  1. Blitz Pryor. Every team OSU has played has loaded up the box and come after Pryor. The OSU offensive line has beenbad at times picking up blitzes and blocking speed rushers.
  2. See above.
  3. See above.

Prediction time! This week, we’re giving away another copy of Busted: The Rise and Fall of Art Schlichterto the closest prediction of the final score of the OSU/Penn State game. (Vegas is currently favoring Penn State by 5)

In addition to the final score, let’s consider a few other things on which to prognosticate:

Who has the bigger offensive impact on the game (total yards and TDs): Pryor or Clark?
As an aside, does Clark even make it to the end of the game (unlike last year)?
Does JoePa make another 1st half 55-yard dash?
Which defense gives up more rushing yards?

el Kaiser’s predictions:
OSU: 24 PSU: 20
Pryor outgains Clark and Clark survives brutal beatings by Maximus and Nathan Williams.
We’re at Beaver Stadium, so I’m assuming they’ve installed facilities nearby for the feeble JoePa
OSU has regularly shut down previously unstoppable PSU RBs, so I say PSU gives up more yards after Pryor breaks off a couple big ones.

Penn State, On Paper

Statistically Speaking
Ohio State
Value (Rank)
Value (Rank)
Penn State
Rushing Offense (ypg) 187.3 (28) 84.1 (5) Rushing Defense (ypg) Push
Passing Offense (ypg) 188.8 (94) 170.7 (12) Passing Defense (ypg) Penn State++
Pass Efficiency 128.3 (60) 95.6 (6) Pass Efficiency Defense Penn State+
Total Offense (ypg) 376.1 (63) 254.8 (5) Total Defense (ypg) Penn State+
Scoring Offense (ppg) 31.0 (29) 9.3 (1) Scoring Defense (ppg) Penn State
Rushing Defense (ypg) 86.4 (6) 182.0 (33) Rushing Offense (ypg) Ohio State
Passing Defense (ypg) 173.6 (14) 247.1 (34) Passing Offense (ypg) Push
Pass Efficiency Defense 97.0 (9) 146.6 (20) Pass Efficiency Offense Push
Total Defense (ypg) 260.0 (6) 429.1 (24) Total Offense (ypg) Push
Scoring Defense (ppg) 11.7 (6) 30.7 (33) Scoring Offense (ppg) Ohio State
Turnover margin +0.89 (14) +0.56 (34) Turnover margin Push
Penalty Yards/game 38.4 (6) 36.4 (3) Penalty Yards/game Push
Sacks (/game) 2.89 (12) 1.11 (18) Sacks Allowed (/game) Push
Sacks Allowed (/game) 1.67 (52) 3.56 (4) Sacks (/game) Penn State
Redzone Offense (%) 72.9 (103) 57.1 (1) Redzone Defense (%) Penn State+++
Redzone Defense (%) 80.0 (51) 86.5 (30) Redzone Offense (%) Push
3rd Down Conv. (%) 41.9 (47) 31.3 (10) 3rd Down Conv. Def (%) Penn State
3rd Down Conv. Def (%) 32.3 (15) 51.6 (5) 3rd Down Conv. (%) Push
  Difference <25 in National Rank = Push   Difference >25 in National Rank = Ohio State
  Difference >50 in National Rank = Ohio State+
  Difference >75 in National Rank = Ohio State++
  Differences >100 in National Rank = Ohio State+++

Inifinite Sadness


So melancholy…