Slap hands! Slap hands!

waterboy_1

Tolzien just wants to slap hands!

Does this sound ridiculous to you?

Two teams, two quarterbacks, two great defenses, two nearly identical statistical performances. What happens when you take one team’s game recap — apparently written by a sports journalist with a straight face — and do a find-and-replace on the names and numbers?

Open the original in a new window, then follow the jump for side-by-side comparison hilarity:

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We are living in a Bizarro World

Ray Small

What a game of football. In a game where defense and special teams almost outgains (but outscores) the offense, a game where the offense runs three plays in the third quarter but the team outscores the opposition 14-3, you wouldn’t think things would go your way. But this is a team sport and we’ll take a win however we get it.

The Defense (now capitalized and bolded) was AWESOME. The fact that they had to play better part of thirteen minutes in the third quarter and still only gave up three points cannot go unstated. This unit is golden

The offense? I have a pessimistic view of the offense and a somewhat more optimistic view. For now, I’ll just say that things did not look very promising out there today.

An ugly win like this probably won’t win over any voters, but was still impressive how it happened.

Gameday Open Thread

FootballWe’ll have the live game chat after the jump when the game starts, but feel free to use drop us your thoughts on this wonderful day of college football.

After an hour of watching, I will say this: Illinois is bad. This Illinois/MSU game is not looking good for The Zookers.

I haven’t been participating in the live chat because I’m getting a little frustrated with the way our offense is playing. They have slightly redeemed themselves after that pass from Pryor, but they better come out swinging in the second half.

Thank the maker for this defense.

Phew. Glad that’s over. Now I can enjoy the rest of the night’s games.

I must say, I don’t think I can get enough of Tebow’s head slamming in to the ground. Clearly this is something we’re going to see over and over.

And, I know it has another half to go, but McCoy is letting the Heisman slip through his fingers.
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Week #6: Wisconsin – Preview and Open Thread

OSU FootballNow we’re getting to the meat of the Big Ten schedule. Wisconsin, Ohio State, October in the Horseshoe.

Wisconsin comes into this game possibly feeling a little disrespected for being 5-0 and sitting at the bottom of the Top 25. But we know better. Play someone other than Wofford or Northern Illinois, and we’ll talk. It’s very possible that someone could be in for a rude awakening.

Let’s get to talking about how rude of an awakening that could be.

Ohio State on Offense

Since the USC game, we’ve seen steady improvement from all facets of the offensive game. The most important offensive position, the QB, has been looking ready to explode. Terrelle Pryor has found his legs and, at times, his cannon of an arm. Against lesser defenses he has excelled. Wisconsin will be a step up from previous match-ups, but Terrelle knows what to expect.

If he can eliminate the few mental mistakes that still linger, this game could be huge for Terrelle. His “coming out” party was against Wisconsin last year. Perhaps this year’s game is his “I’m here to stay” party. We have been waiting for a full four quarters of brilliance from Terrelle. Maybe Saturday is the day.

We’ve already talked about how good Brandon Saine looked last week while Boom Herron was nursing an injury. Tomorrow’s game should see Boom move back into the starting position with Saine waiting for his chances. The running game is looking good with four legitimate threats (Boom, Zoom, Hall and Pryor) that could give Wisconsin headaches. They gave up 214 yards to Wofford (WOFFORD!). We have to believe that Ohio State’s offensive line will have a little more success against the Badger defense than Wofford did. WOFFORD!

Speaking about the line, it does have to be a area of concern with everyone battling the flu. Earlier this week I wanted to make a joke about the offensive line letting the flu get to them while The Defense seems fine. But that would be bush league. So I’ll just say that I hope the everyone on the line enjoys a speedy recovery. Get out there and MOVE.

Ohio State on Defense

So, you might have heard that Wisconsin has had some success running the ball. You might have also heard that Ohio State has been rather tough on opposing running backs. Ohio State over the last three games has given up less than 40 yards a game on the ground. A lesser writer would say something lame like “something has to give.”

One of the reasons Wisconsin has had such success on the ground is their commitment to pounding the ball. They line up in a lot of pro formations, often with two tight-ends and a full back. That’s power. That’s “I’m handing off this ball and there’s nothing you can do about it.” They’ll motion the weakside tight end and pull a guard and send the flotilla of flesh to impose their will. It can be impressive to watch. But can Ohio State stop it?

Ohio State has seen a somewhat similar offense when they played USC, but as MotSaG reader Kade pointed out to me, USC probably has the best offensive line in the country and OSU’s front four had success in neutralizing the line of scrimmage. This has to give us confidence that OSU should be able to hold its own against Wisconsin’s line.

I’m interested to see what defenses the coaches have ready. The 3-4 (or the 50 if you like) and have had some good success, but that was also to defend the spread. Against power formations, I’d like to see some more beef up front. Larimore will be missed in the middle, but Simon and Robert Rose have been doing a good job plugging up holes and taking up space in the middle. If a Mack truck doesn’t have space, he really can’t go anywhere.

And let’s not forget the passing game. Quarterback Scott Tolzien has thrown eight TDs and over 200 yards a game, but again I have to point to the competition those throws have come against. Ohio State’s back four haven’t been talked about, which is a good thing. They’ve been getting the job done. Hurt Coleman also makes his return and I think he’s got something to prove. The passing game doesn’t worry me too much.

Reasons to worry

Speaking of worrying, the Monkey and I have a fellow co-worker who often asks us “what should I worry about?” She wants it straight. For this game, I think it’s pretty clear. If Wisconsin has steady success running the ball, be afraid. Very afraid. Also, if Wisconsin is having success reversing the running game with misdirection, worry. The Defense will be keying on Clay and the direction the line is blocking, leaving the reverse and the quarterback sneak open.

Also, worry if the offensive line struggles. This game is going to grind in both directions. If Ohio State can’t get a running game established, Wisconsin will be in the driver’s seat.

Reasons to pump your fist wildly

If Boom and/or Saine is gashing Wisconsin for 7-8 yards a carry, smile and nod.

If Terrelle looks comfortable in the pocket, slinging short, laser-like passes to Carter and Posey, get that fist ready.

If Clay has trouble holding on to the ball and the linebackers are getting to him, you know you’re in for a treat this game.

We don’t know exactly what Badger team is coming to the ‘Shoe this Saturday. We’ll know soon enough.

Some intangibles: Weather looks to be nice, clean football weather. Vegas has the line at 16 points. That seems high. WOW.

Finally, time for some predictions:
Pryor: Does he gain more yards on the ground or through the air?
Defense: Does it allow a 100 yard rusher?
Clay: How many fumbles does he lose?
Final Score?

el Kaiser’s predictions
Pryor doubles up his rushing yards through the air: 200/100
Yes, I think Clay busts one big one, sniffs a hundy, but at a price of 30 carries.
Clay loses the handle on the ball after a jarring tackle from one Hurt Coleman.
OSU: 30 Wisky: 20

sportsMonkey’s predictions
Pryor: through the air 180 passing/110 rushing
Defense allow Clay 100?: No.
Clay fumble?: No.
OSU: 27 Wisky: 10

Wisconsin, by the Numbers

Borrowing liberally from Black Shoe Diaries, I present Ohio State vs. Wisconsin in numeric form:

Statistically Speaking
Ohio State
Value (Rank)
Value (Rank)
Wisconsin
Advantage
Rushing Offense (ypg) 188.6 (35) 128.0 (55) Rushing Defense (ypg) Push
Passing Offense (ypg) 180.6 (97) 235.0 (85) Passing Defense (ypg) Push
Pass Efficiency 131.9 (55) 132.7 (80) Pass Efficiency Defense Ohio State
Total Offense (ypg) 369.2 (68) 363.0 (70) Total Defense (ypg) Push
Scoring Offense (ppg) 29.4 (47) 24.6 (64) Scoring Defense (ppg) Push
Rushing Defense (ypg) 83.4 (10) 217.2 (14) Rushing Offense (ypg) Push
Passing Defense (ypg) 169.2 (21) 216.0 (61) Passing Offense (ypg) Ohio State
Pass Efficiency Defense 98.2 (18) 153.0 (19) Pass Efficiency Offense Push
Total Defense (ypg) 252.6 (9) 433.2 (22) Total Offense (ypg) Push
Scoring Defense (ppg) 11.8 (8) 35.0 (19) Scoring Offense (ppg) Push
Turnover margin +0.8 (28) +1.0 (19) Turnover margin Push
Penalty Yards/game 35.2 (7) 51.0 (43) Penalty Yards/game Ohio State
Sacks (/game) 2.8 (16) 0.4 (1) Sacks Allowed (/game) Push
Sacks Allowed (/game) 1.2 (29) 2.8 (16) Sacks (/game) Push
Redzone Offense (%) 75 (90) 88.9 (89) Redzone Defense (%) Push
Redzone Defense (%) 100 (13) 100 (1) Redzone Offense (%) Push
3rd Down Conv. (%) 41.0 (49) 41.4 (86) 3rd Down Conv. Def (%) Ohio State
3rd Down Conv. Def (%) 37.0 (53) 56.3 (3) 3rd Down Conv. (%) Wisconsin++
 Legend
  Difference <25 in National Rank = Push   Difference >25 in National Rank = Ohio State
  Difference >50 in National Rank = Ohio State+
  Difference >75 in National Rank = Ohio State++
  Differences >100 in National Rank = Ohio State+++

I try to present this clinically, without commentary. But I have to add this: Ohio State played USC. Wisconsin played Wofford. Draw your own conclusions.

Hoosier Snoozer (I got nothing) (Indiana Recap)

OSU FootballBetter late than never recap of Saturday’s game against the Indiana Hoosiers.

Let’s look at how some of our predictions came out:

First, the numbers. The Buckeyes were dominant in pretty much every facet of the game. The Final Score: 33-14 looks much closer than it ever was. The Buckeyes left at least 13 points on the table, maybe more. Bizzaro Aaron Petrey missed a couple more chip shots, which is weird. Doesn’t Ryan Pretorius have another year or two of eligibility? Anyway, the game was never in doubt and the Buckeyes looked to be firing on most, if not all, cylinders this game. [Commenter Mike called this one the closest (sorry there’s no prize this week, Mike, but check back next week!)]

Next we asked: Does Ohio State pitch its third shut-out? It may have been a forgone conclusion that Indiana was going to point some points on the board. They may not be the strongest team in the Big Ten, but they weren’t going to let the Buckeyes blow them off the field. The Buckeyes Defense was monster again. That front four has become an impenetrable wall with the softest hands in the conference. It’s terrible to see Dexter Larimore go down, but Tressel can just plug the next COG into the machine and watch it continue to grind opposing running backs to a pulp.

We’ll get to more numbers on the defense, but for now we’ll just say that we’ll take a game where we only allow two touchdowns. Especially if one is scored with six seconds left in the game (see also: GAR-BAJ time). [Commenter DaveM got the two TD prediction correct for this one.]

Does Ohio State have a 100 yard rusher this week? I guess this was a gimme. With Boom Herron on the bench, it was clear that Saine’s workload was going to increase. I think it was clear that up to this point, Saine has been on the brink of busting out. We’ve seen flashes, and now those flashes are becoming one giant bright spot.

Saine Indiana

Saine’s line looked nice: 17 carries, 113 yards, 6.6, 0, 30 long. I’d like to see that 0 TD change but otherwise there isn’t much to complain about here, especially because he basically disappeared during the second quarter. Saine’s vision is improving and his cut backs and bouncing it outside are playing to his speed. Throw in his soft hands and he’s turning into a well rounded option.

Most people thought Saine would obtain the 100 yard game, but some thought Terrelle would hit it as well. He did account for 101 yards of positive rushing, but a couple sacks hurt his total overall. Nevertheless, he still made some jaw-dropping plays where he turned short gains into gashing first-down earners. Jason pointed this out rather nicely.

Finally, back to the defense. Would the give up over or under 350 yards? Most people thought we’d hold them under 350, but I honestly didn’t think it would be over an hundred yards under the 350 mark.

But the numbers don’t lie. You hold Indiana to 0.7 yards a carry rushing? That’s STOUT. After slashing through the LOLverines defense for almost 200 yards the week before, I thought they’d have a little success against The Defense, but: DANG. Even the 210 yards passing is acceptable, all things considered.

Defense Indiana

Another crazy defense stat? “OSU has 8 INTs by 8 different defenders….and none by a cornerback! — 2 by DL, 3 by LBs, 3 by safeties” (h/t Ken Gordon) That’s spreading the defensive nastiness around. Let’s get into the party, Cornerbacks!

A couple more items. I am unashamedly in love with passing to the FB. He’s a glorified guard for 95% of the plays his in on, so throw the dog a bone. I loved the pass to Zach Boren in the Red Zone. Now, that being said, if Zach wants to continue to see the ball, he needs to block on a more consitent basis. He’ll get his passes when he blows up some Linebackers.

Let’s also talk about the Duron Carter hit: I love me some wide receivers that are willing to stick their nose in there and throw a block. I want this to continue. Jason from 11W directed me to this video, which shows that we may see this for years to come from Duron.

Carter Indiana

Bring on Bucky Badger!

Indiana Live Game Chat

I’m going to be watching tonight’s game on tape-delay, but there’s another live chat going on. Feel free to join in!

Week #5: Indiana – Open Thread

OSU FootballCrazy to think it’s already October and we’re in week number five of the 2009 football season. It’s going too fast! This week has Ohio State heading to the Mini Horseshoe to take on Indiana for a 7 PM showdown (on the BTN).

Before we get to our thoughts, a browse through some previews elsewhere is in order. We could probably just direct you to Buckeye Planet’s preview and be done. But we spread the love.

Some key points:

The Buckeye Defense will be going for their third straight shut-out. I don’t think it’s out of the question after shutting out Illinois, a team that clearly has (had?) more raw talent than Indiana does. Hurt Coleman will be sitting this one out (but we’re done talking about that) and Ross Homan is dinged up but otherwise, the Defense should be in fine shape. having Russell Anderson and Jermale Hines as the last line of defense in pass defense situations could be trouble. Indiana’s QB Ben Chapell could be finding his third and fourth options open early and often. If we’re in a lot of zone coverage, it could get ugly.

The defensive line is still the foundation of the defense and shouldn’t have too much trouble shutting down the Indiana running game and getting pressure on Chapell, which will be paramount. But it’s not just Thaddeus and Heyward doing all the work. Don’t forget about our former high school wrestling champ Tim Anderson Dexter Larimore. He’s been quietly getting the job done (perhaps too quietly. HE KNEW!). There’s just something reassuring about having a wrestling champ down in the trenches. I can’t wait until Musberger learns this news, so he can tell us about it over and over again.

On paper, Indiana’s defense looks decent. Currently, they’re ranked #4 in scoring defense (giving up 22.3 points/game) and in total defense (327.3 yards/game) in the Big Ten. Take into consideration the competition (W. Kentucky, W. Michigan and Akron before playing Michigan) but those numbers are still decent. They held run-happy Michigan to 3 yards/carry (and as WWAHT pointed out, it’s actually less than that). They have a competent defensive line and linebackers. Look for their ends to test the newbies at offensive tackle. Their defense backfield isn’t strong and should allow for Terrelle to have some options in the passing game.

When Ohio State has the ball, expect to see a lot of running. The Buckeyes had success in spades last week running the option read (even though many of the runs were designed hand offs) and we’ll be seeing Saine and company touch the ball often. With Boom Herron dinged up, I’m excited to see Saine starting this week. I have nothing but love for Boom, but I’m glad Brandon gets a chance to be the featured back. I’d have them both on the field if it was my call. Jordan Hall will also factor prominently in the game, but unfortunately not Jamaal Berry. He’s getting awfully close to that red shirt.

When Indiana is on offense, Ben Chappell is going to be looking to pick on Anderson Russell all day long. He’s got solid WRs to throw to (Tanden Doss being his favorite) and their running game is starting to gain some momentum. But let’s be strictly honest here. The Hoosiers haven’t seen a defense yet, much less a suffocating front four like the Buckeyes. It’s going to get ugly for Ben and his buddies.

I know Indiana is done with moral victories, but I can’t see any way Indiana challenges the Buckeyes at all. Moral victories are all their going to have coming out of this game.

Predictions:
Does Ohio State pitch it’s third shut-out? if not, how many TDs do they give up?
Does Ohio State have a 100 yard rusher this week?
I’m putting the over/under for Indiana’s offensive output at 350. Which one are you taking?
Final Score?

el Kaiser’s Predictions
Shutout? Unfortunately, I don’t think so. But, I think we only give up one TD.
100 yard rusher? Yes: Brandon Saine has the biggest game of his career.
O/U? I’m taking the under at 300 yards on the button
Final Score: 38-7

sportsMonkey’s Predictions
Shutout? I’d be surprised, especially with Coleman out. I think Indiana scores twice.
100 yard rusher? Yes – but only due to Indy’s terrible secondary, which should allow someone (Pryor/Saine) who gets into the backfield or around the edge to have a long run or two & bump up the average. We haven’t seen a reverse yet… those tend to work well against overagressive DLs…
O/U? Under at 275 yards
Final Score: OSU 31-10

sportsMonkey notes: Much is made of Indiana’s DL, but I think that they’re a bit overrated. Their numbers against UM were more due to UM offensive woes (-77 yards rushing on a half-dozen bad snaps). Take those away and Indiana gave up about 5 YPC to UM. OSU >> UM, so expect the fans in gray to cheer on a long TD run or two…

Sylvester Yon-Rambo’s Predictions
Shutout? I do think we can shut them out, so I say yes
100 yard rusher? Yes: I say we have 3 100 yard rushers….. Saine, Pryor, and Jordan Hall (my new boy on Offense)
O/U? I’m taking the under at 185 yards
Final Score: 36-0

MotSaG’s West Coast Bunker Commentary – UM Owns Big10 Countdown Clock Started by Cowherd

OSU FootballI say hit the snooze bar for about two years…

I am not sure how many people within the Buckeye Nation can actually stomach a full Colin Cowherd radio program, but he let out a few ratings-grabber craptastic statements this morning about the state of UM Football program’s competitiveness next year and going forward…

A couple of semi-accurate paraphrased quotes…

“Rodriguez is a great offensive coach, and all he needs is another good recruiting year to get a defense which can stand up to Ohio State.”

“Rich Rodriguez will be Tressel’s Worst Nightmare.”

Now all of us know better than to believe these shenanigans (at least in the short term). However, it does raise an interesting point once UM starts getting some recruiting gems to come in and play under DickRod’s system.

How will OSU respond? Eventually, UM will get better. I am not convinced it will be this year or next, but 2011 seems to be a decent target for a decent defense and a more dynamic offense with proper personnel.

As a Buckeye fan, I would welcome this improvement in the UM squad. Not for the typical reasons you would normally hear suggested (ie. If UM is good, the conference is better..BULLSHIT…if OSU could beat Michigan by Eleventy-Billion every year, I might pee my pants with joy annually in late November). The main reason is that the more diversity in the conference (offensively), the better for OSU. Let’s face it. OSU has never been known for it’s offensive prowess in the past. Sure, they have had some impressive offensive years in the past with the likes of Joe Germaine and Bobby Hoying running the show in the mid-90’s, but this isnt the cornerstone of Ohio State’s team approach. Yes, they want to score points, but the defense has been the OSU “bread-and-butter” since like forever…and now we can throw the ‘punt’ in there as well.

With that in mind…here is some time machine action for OSU against the UM offense…

You can see the progression that OSU is going to be able to take with the UM offense over the next couple of years.

2008

Last year, Tressel basically faced a scout team down in Columbus when UM came calling. While UM was able to have minimal success, it was the equivalent of OSU scout team players trying to play in Navy’s offense. It just doesnt work and the results were obvious last year for UM.

2009

This year Tate Forcier comes in and the UM offense is a little better. He isnt Pat White, but he is an obvious upgrade over Sheridan and whatever athletic training staff member was his back-up last year. This year, OSU and it’s defensive coaching staff will have another shot at RR’s offense with marginally better offensive personnel (still not convinced Forcier makes it to November, but that is another story for another day) and an added bonus of playing in the Big House. See folks…baby steps for the OSU defensive coaches.

By the time 2010 rolls around, one of two things will have happened…

1. RRod has been fired…doubtful at this point.

2. UM will have a nice amount of experienced offensive players to bring to Columbus in November 2010

If you guys can read the ‘tea leaves,’ this bodes well for OSU on two fronts.

If Tressel can iteratively adapt the defense to handle this style of offense with the opponent having appropriate and good personnel, UM will not dominate the conference, but it will win it’s fair share of games and the rivalry will become competitive. I dont really give a flip about the competitive part (as in UM winning games ever), but by default competition breeds improvement and OSU will have to adjust it’s approach to the UM style of offense when the personnel gets better. What UM brought to the table last year (2008) was not competition, it was a sacrificial lamb on it’s way to the slaughter.

Also, this type of offense is really the only type of offense, besides the old “Tiller’d Purdue Basketball-on-Grass” offenses, that has given OSU any problems when equal talent is matched up across the ball. Seeing this type of offense within the conference on a yearly-basis will only help OSU in the OOC portion of it’s schedule and in bowl season. You dont think the SEC has gotten better defensively with Florida changing it’s offensive scheme after Meyer arrived? Crazy talk. They have definitely gotten better defending this type of offense when they see it out of conference. The difference is that the Citadel, Furman, and The College of Charleston dont have the athletes to scare anyone (btw…I have no idea if these schools run this type of offense, but I just love referring to The Citadel and the SEC teams scheduling them whenever I can).

So the bottom line for OSU fans, enjoy the next couple of years (unless a miracle of epic proportions occurs and UM wins one of the next two OSU-Michigan games) and see how the OSU defensive brain-trust goes about handling RRod’s ever-improving toy offense. UM improving is a good thing for OSU…not the conference. We are not SEC fans and I wont claim UM’s 1997 National Championship anytime soon.

~YNBA~