Negative Buckeye: Maryland Week Complaints and Issues

by: Ryan Black

The Ohio State Buckeyes showed off their awesome tackle football skills again last weekend with a murder of some team from Washington D.C. and fans get to look forward to another bye week…

Remember in the good ole days when Ohio State would only have one bye week and would be forced to wait almost 3 months until the bowl game at the end of the season? Well this old man does and I miss those times.

Normally I would complain about the anger and stupidity that arose during the game last Saturday but coach Urban Meyer has been making life too pleasant anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I still saw and said some awful words about Maryland players and Ohio State’s secondary but this week I need to complain about something deeper.

This weeks negative view point post will remind the true Ohio State fans how much better the times were before the “ever-so-handsome” Urban Meyer came to Columbus. Old timers always believe that their way is best and I’m no different. Growing up with Ohio State was awesome and kids these days won’t understand how great it truly was in the golden years.

So sit back, grab a liquor drink, and lets reminisce about the better times during the Ohio State baby boomer era (1995-2011)-

Best Glory Day Moments:

Eddie George Heisman in 1995-

The first memory as a fan that comes to mind is watching the Heisman ceremony in 1995, in which Eddie George took home the ugly statue. With an always smooth look and head, number 27 stole the hearts of America with a dominant senior season.

He had the courage to wear his jersey halfway up his body to show his perfectly sculpted abs; unlike that current punk Ezekiel Elliot kid who wears his halfway down his body.

Joe Germaine vs. Stanley Jackson in 1996-

Ohio State certainly had the capability of going undefeated during the regular season in 1996 (like Urban Meyer has selfishly done twice). But John Cooper is a better man; he wanted to give the opposing teams a chance. Joe Germaine was one of the top quarterbacks in the nation and Stanley Jackson was one of the top 10 quarterbacks named Stanley in Columbus. Coach Cooper used this to make games more difficult for the Bucks.

Using a two quarterback system, John Cooper would often stop Germaine from scoring in the red zone by replacing him with the more mobile Jackson. Many times this replacement would make a bonehead decision and keep the games interesting. The Bucks couldn’t finish off Michigan because of this (in my 8 year old mind at least) but still headed to Pasadena. Here’s to you John Cooper, director of chaos.

Ohio State beats Michigan 31-16 in 1998–

The 1990’s were a great time for true Buckeye fans. Back then beating Michigan actually meant something and was very difficult. In 2014 beating Michigan is easier than my first college girlfriend (I still don’t forget Stacy) and it makes me sick.

Today’s Ohio State fans probably were disappointed after squeaking passed Michigan by 1 point last season. These brats don’t realize that beating Michigan under John Cooper was the equivalent of me landing Gisele Bündchen for a one night stand. Now a days the Ohio State Buckeyes are constantly taking home a 10 out of 10’s and the luster is gone. Been there done that.

Would you really want to bag a super model every time you tried to? (Don’t answer that)

Ohio State wins it all in 2002-

Yea it happened.

Robert Reynolds chokes a bitch in 2003–

Back in my day when Ohio State was losing to a bitter rival they didn’t go down quietly. After a national title in 2002, a still undefeated Ohio State was losing on the road at Wisconsin and things were slipping away. Instead of handling a loss with dignity ,which Urban Meyer stupidly preaches, Robert Reynolds took matters (and throats) into his own hands. This true gangsta started choking out the Badger quarterback Jim Sorgi to teach him a lesson. What that lesson was I don’t know.

I couldn’t sleep the night of the Big Ten Championship loss to Michigan State last year; not because our national championships hope went down the drain, oh no. I was extremely disappointed one of our respectful linebackers did not pile drive, mandible claw or edgecute Connor Cook.

At least we have a former Jim Tressel player on the staff in Anthony Schlegel, who Rock Bottomed a fan to hell last week.

Jim Tressel gives Urban Meyer national title in 2006-2007-

Jim Tressel was getting close to 60 years of age and knew he didn’t have too many years left in the engine to run this great university.  He’d already won a ton of national titles, so he decided to let an up and coming coach from Ohio have his day in the sun in the 2006-2007 national championship game when Ohio State met Florida.

Instead of keeping the game close with dignity, this new hot shot coach (Urban Meyer) came out and depantsed our loves in front of the whole nation. What a freaking jerk.

Jim Tressel falls on the sword for all of us in 2011-

Despite the shenanigans Meyer pulled a few years back, Jim Tressel saw an opportunity to get this now seasoned coach to carry Ohio State flag.  After a health scare, the coach left Florida and joined ESPN for a year in the booth. Coach Tress knew he had to act swiftly.

Being a pro wrestling fan, Jim Tressel knew he wanted to go out on his back with turmoil just like his predecessors:

1. Woody Hayes: Went out swinging and was fired after punching a Clemson player in the neck. That player is still breathing through a machine.

2. Earl Bruce: Was let go after having an above average team for us above average fans for a decade. Brings a tear to my eye.

3. John Cooper: Was canned after his refusal to beat Michigan in the 1990’s. What kind of movie would be good if the bad guys didn’t always win in the end? Man I Loved coach Coop.

The issue in leaving in disgrace was that Tressel never lost any games-ever. And if Jim Tressel ever punched a player, then that young man would be deceased before he hit the ground. How could the coach honor his former brethren and unwritten rule of wrestling if he never loses and doesn’t want to deal with a murder trial?

With a perfect plan of course-Jim decided to make up some scandal about free tattoos for a few of his players and eventually he was “forced” to resign the same year Urban was looking for a head coaching job.  Now don’t laugh, things worked a little differently in my day and free tattoos were a big issue:

Back then if a player got a free tattoo he was a terrorist, see one journalist’s thoughts then and now on player benefits: Jonny Manziel vs Terrelle Pryor

And if a player was overpaid by three dollars he got slapped with a five game suspension: This literally happened and nobody cared.

My how the times have changed and not for the better. I think Posey should have gotten a 307 game suspension, one for every cent he took. Back then kids were forced to follow rules and if they didn’t ESPN would scream for the death penalty of Ohio State.  Now in today’s shameful college football world, players can:

1. be accused of sexual assault

2. steal

3. have bb gun battles in public

with no repercussions at all. No wonder Jim was ready to get out of the business.

Jim Tressel did all that for all of these young jerks who watch Ohio State now and they show no damn respect. What a shame.

Currently, Ohio State is doing things with class and winning at a never before seen rate and I don’t know how kids can live with it. If there is a Buckeye god, then please bring back the losses to Michigan, the choke holds and the scandals. Saturdays are too boring anymore.