Archives for September 2011

Due to a scheduling mishap (hey, it’s the preseason, right?) we didn’t get a recap after the Akron MACssacre. Oh well, that means you’re stuck with my stream of consciousness of thought before we go into full Toledo mode.

One of the first things I was struck with was that Luke Fickell is NOT Jim Tressel. This was obvious when, with less than a minute to go in the second quarter and Akron unable to get any traction on the ground, Fickell called time-out after the OSU defense had stuffed Akron on first and second down. This, my former Tresselball friends, is not a Jim Tressel move.

Neither was throwing downfield at the end of the fourth quarter with the game well out of hand. Or going for it on fourth and long, trying to get Carlos Hyde his hundy on the ground. Again, this was not Jim Tressel.

I think these decisions were made clearly with that in mind. Fickell wants to distance himself from his mentor for a number of (obvious reasons) but ultimately I think he wanted to establish his own identity. Clearly he was successful, as the mid-field hand shake with the Akron head coach Rob Ianello showed.

I know I’m really going out on a limb here, but this defense is going to be really good. Better than people had originally anticipated, I think. Everyone got to play and just about everyone contributed. Very exciting.

On offense, besides the unexpected play by Joe Bauserman, this game felt like a movie trailer. Seeing the two young bucks running the ball was enlightenin. Both Rod Smith and Carlos Hyde have obvious upside but they also have work to do.

The tight-end utilization was a thing to see. While Jake Stoneburner may not be a young underclassmen like the rest of this offense, he and Joe Bauserman are going to make a nice combo.

And yes, while Evan Spencer’s one-handed catch was a thing of beauty, let us not forget Braxton Miller’s threading of the needle on his touchdown to Devin Smith.

Akron’s game was a taste of things to come and I think all Buckeye fans liked what they saw.

There’s still few hours until game time, but join in the festivities before kick-off!

Hit the jump for the chat!
[Read more…]

Fowler: Welcome to the GameDay College Football Preview, here on ESPN. 2011 is shaping up to be another great season for college football, and not just for the SEC.

I’m Chris Fowler, here with my coanchors Lou Holtz, Lee Corso, Erin Andrews, and Mark May. Later we’ll be joined by Desmond Howard and our old pal Kirk Herbstreit.

All co-anchors: Hi.

Fowler: Let’s start with what was a very tumultous offseason. Mark… so many scandals, shocking behavior. It’s almost amazing that the chaos was limited entirely to the Ohio State program.

May: Absolutely, Chris. While Ohio State’s implosion was not surprising, it was amazing that no the other schools in college football did anything worth noting this summer.

Holtz: (nods) Yesth. A very quiet off-season, overall.

Fowler: Quiet for everyone except the fans in Columbus, who are the very reason we have our very own Kirk Herbstreit reporting from an undisclosed location in Tennessee. Welcome, Herbie.

(– Herbstreit appears on video monitor –)

Herbstreit: Hi everyone.

Fowler: So the fans in central Ohio were rough on you, huh?

Herbstreit: It was a nightmare, Chris. I had this social network account — “Twitter” — maybe you’ve heard of it, and some folks started to tweet some very nasty things. I had to uproot my wife and three boys and move down here to SEC country where I knew I’d be safe.

Howard: That is amazing. I can vouch for Kirk in that Big Ten fans can be rough like that. I don’t know that I’d move my family to where polar bears come from, though.

Andrews: Hi, Kirk; this is Erin. Might wanna either tell your camerman or your tanning spa lady to turn down the orange. Can’t tell.

(– Herbie’s lips quiver, fights back tears. Takes microphone off and leaves frame –)

Fowler: ERIN… you know how sensitive Kirk is. You can’t tease him like that. Now who knows where he’s gone.

Andrews: (laughing) Sorry Chris… it’s just too easy.

Holtz: That boy needth to grow thome thicker skin.

Corso: (points pencil at camera) I agree. Thick skin. Boy. Grow. …uh huh. Thicker!!

Fowler: Let’s move on. It’s obviously going to be another banner year for the SEC. Which team playing for the SEC title will win the national championship? Desmond?

Howard: Well, I was going to go with Texas this year, but the more I analyze the team, the less I think they can compete. Just looki– (audio cuts off)

Everyone: (shushing Desmond) SSHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Fowler: Um, what Desmond meant to say was that it was possible that Texas could contend for the national championship. He didn’t disparage the Longhorns, nor (– reads from cheat sheet –) “…reasonably make any inappropriate statements or actions disparaging the quality and reputation desired by the University of Texas or the Longhorn Network for ESPN on-air talent.” (takes deep breath) And speaking of legal obstacles, we’ll now welcome Craig James to the program.

James: (Joins crew on set) Watch it, Fowler.

Fowler: (nervously) Hahahaaa…. just kidding, pal. What insight do you have on this season?

James: Well, it’s going to be a good season. Of course, I’ll be running for US Senate –

Fowler: (interrupting) Whoa there, Craig… we’re not allowed to use ESPN as a platform for –

James: (gruffly) Interrupt me ONE MORE TIME and I’ll Feldman your skinny butt. Got it?

Fowler: (scared) …uh, sure, sure, buddy.

James: Anyway, like I was saying, I’ll be running for Senator for the great state of Tex- (audio cuts off, screen goes dark)

(– 30 seconds transpire. The familiar GameDay scene returns; Craig James is no longer there. –)

Fowler: Looks like we had some technical difficulties, there, thank you for watching. Let’s get back to the program.

May: Chris, if I may, we need to refocus on Terrelle Pryor’s tattoos.

Corso: I had a tattoo once. Funny guy. Was always looking for planes.

(– everyone exchanges awkward glances –)

Andrews: I spoke to several coaches about the NCAA violations at Ohio State. Everyone I spoke to, from Chip Kelley to Gene Chizek, and even former coaches like Randy Shannon and Pete Carroll, gave surprisingly positive, supportive comments about Jim Tressel and the Ohio State program.

Fowler: Yes, some fine gentlemen there, supporting a fellow coach, obviously relieved that similar drama has never invaded their own programs. (Puts finger to earpiece) I’m told we have Kirk Herbstreit back, Kirk, are you there?

(– Herbie appears on monitor alongside Nancy Grace –)

Herbstreit: Yes, Chris, I’m here. It was necessary to leave ESPN and move here to the relative safety of CNN.

Grace: Don’t you worry about Kirk, fellas. I’ve got my eye on him.

Holtz: Kirk, you can’t keep doin thisth, son. You gotta settle down somewhere.

Herbstreit: Let it go, old man. I’m here to talk football.

Grace: What just a minute here! You call that sweet old man ‘OLD MAN?!? Didn’t anyone ever teach you any manners?!?

Everyone: Nancy, don’t!! You’ll make him —

Herbstreit: Stop yelling at me!! (sobs, tears out microphone, runs off set crying)

Grace: Good riddance, Bronzholio.

Andrews: OOHH I am so stealing that!! (addresses producer off-camera) What tech do I have to flash to get “bronzholio” in the ESPN crawler at the bottom of the screen? For the rest of the afternoon?

Fowler: Let’s spend a few minutes discussing the Pac10. Desmond, lots of great running backs up at Oregon this year. Any of them faster or better than the eventual SEC Heisman winner?

Howard: Yes, I agree. Terrelle Pryor got tattoos. Big ones. I saw one on his arm and was all like “that must have hurt going on” but I guess the pain was worth it for someone wanting to take down Ohio State. Just amazing that no other football team had any issues this year. Strange.

Fowler: Yeah, certainly a strange year. Our own Mark May sat down with former coach Jim Tressel and new head coach Luke Fickell to get their perspectives… let’s run that.

(– video starts –)

May: Thanks for talking to me, coaches. Let me ask you this: Why did you decide to coach at OSU, instead of anywhere else where NCAA violations aren’t committed?

Tressel: I loved Ohio State, and in particular, the players, with all of my heart and wish them all the best in the future.

May: Great. Speaking of the future, let me ask you, Luke. I hear you do a mean Adam Sandler impression. Care to give us a preview?

Fickell: …Well… okay. Just this once. (Makes Sandler face)

“…abby doobie… abbie doobie…”

May: (laughing uncontrollably) HAHAHAHA abbie doobie and everything… Hee hee… so Mr. Tressel… lots of people asking where you’re going to end up. Any plans for the future?

Tressel: Well, I’m taking it easy… keeping my options open. Was thinking of going into broadcasting… I hear there’s a few open spots for talent over at the Longhorn Netwo- (video abruptly ends)

Fowler: (cheat sheet in hand… looking back and forth on-and-off camera for a few seconds) …um… looks like we had some technical difficulties there. We’ll try and play the rest of that conversation later on. In the meantime, I’m told that we have Kirk Herbstreit back again. Now… (motioning to the team) before I welcome him back, let’s everyone take it easy, okay?

Everyone: (snickering) Okay.

Fowler: Kirk, you there?

(– Herbie appears on monitor, appears to be floating. –)

Herbstreit: Hi Chris, I’m here. The environment at CNN was so abusive that I had to move here to NASA TV. They’ve got me onboard the International Space Station.

Corso: He’s flying!!

(– Trev Alberts appears –)

Alberts: Hi everyone!!

Holtz: Trev?!? How’d you get up here? How’d you get past sthecurity?

Alberts: Easy. You are looking at the very first on-air talent hire for the Longhorn Network. We’re peers again!!

May: (eyes wide, mouth agape) TREV?!?…But…but this violates our restaining order!

Alberts: TALK TO THE HAND, FAT URKEL. Hey, where’s Herbie?

Corso: Herbie…. Kirk… boom zoom Moon.

Herbstreit: Up here, Trev. Welcome back, I guess.

Andrews: Hey Herbie, you know you’re above the ozone layer, right? You can get a tan in like 30 seconds up there.

Herbstreit: THAT’S IT!! I GIVE UP!! (opens helmet) (FOOM) (explosively decompresses)

Holtz: Oh… thath disthgusting.

Andrews: WOOO! I totally got dibs on his hairstylist!!

Howard: Man. What a privilege. To die broadcasting from the bottom of the sea like that. Inspiring.

Fowler: Well, that about wraps it up. For the crew here at the Longhorn Network, ESPN, and the estate of Kirk Herbstreit, we’ll see you on GameDay. Go SEC.

 

 

 

 

**Author’s Notes: el Kaiser was a co-author for this post. Some images found on 30fps. And if you thought we were exaggerating with the Longhorn Network legalese: check it out for yourself. Sometimes reality has its own comic exaggeration.

It is September 3rd, 2011 12:05 PM and you are on the field getting ready to either kickoff or receive the kick and you look down at the other end and you see the 2011 Akron Zips special teams. What goes through you mind? If you read any of the previews on the Zips you probably aren’t shaking in your cleats. More than likely, your blood is boiling and your mouth is watering. You see fear and undersized and under-talented competition looking back at you. You think about every word that was written about you and your brethren over the last nine months and you are seething. You remember how people dismissed you as a team and how some of your brothers are sitting or, worse, gone from the team. You look for that familiar father figure that has always been there on the sideline to comfort and support and yell and coach you but he is gone. You have been working out and practicing hard for weeks or months waiting all you want to do is hit someone and hit them as hard as you can. You are trying to live up to your teams motto: SHOCK THE WORLD. This opponent and this game won’t do that, exactly, but it is the stepping stone to the season. A season in which you will shut up the doubters and the haters and, well, you will Shock the World.

The 2010 Akron Zips were 1-11 and ranked over 100th in every possible statistical category in FBS football. Mind you the FBS only has 119 teams. Akron is returning seven defensive starters and six offensive starters. They have a few transfers coming in including a WR named A. J. Price from Penn St. and a QB named Clayton Moore from Ole Miss. They return their QB from last year, Patrick Nicely, but most expect Moore to compete for playing time early. The OL has two new starters in Paul Simkovich and Adam Bice. The running backs should be Jawon Chisolm and Broderick Alexander who is returning from an achilles heel injury. The WRs are tall and athletic and will be led by A. J. Price. Did I mention in 2010 Akron was ranked 119th in total offense out of 119 teams YIKES. They have to improve right?

The defense wasn’t much better if not worse then the offense last year. Akron scored 187 points in 2010 and gave up a whopping 421 points. They do return seven starters but the question is can the added experience make them any better? Akron has no real strengths on defense they do have a couple of JUCO transfers but honestly there isn’t much to discuss about their defense.

What should we expect from OSU? You should expect to see the 1st team out there for about one quarter each half. You should expect to see OSU play as many players as they can. You can expect to see a team determined to prove themselves to the doubters and haters. You can expect New head coach Luke Fickell to play it close to the “vest” so to say. I seriously doubt he will let his team loose on a team so undeserving of a butt whooping. The real question is can Akron do anything to slow down this team in any way and find a way to move the ball on offense?

So now we get to the fun part, the questions for everyone to answer.

Will OSU score over or under 50 points?
How many turnovers will OSU take away and lose?
Who will be the leading rusher and how many yards?
Who will throw the most passing TDs?
How many points will Akron score?
How many times will the announcers of the game mention Tattoo or Scandal?
Finally, How many times will they accidentally call Coach Fickell …. Coach Tressel?

(via ABC6)

COLUMBUS, Ohio— As part of its continued work with the NCAA to resolve any remaining football compliance issues, Ohio State today announced that it has self-reported violations involving three student-athletes. That review has led to junior running back Jordan Hall, sophomore defensive back Corey Brown, and junior defensive back Travis Howard disclosing that they had received impermissible benefits of $300 or less each in total at a charity event they attended earlier in the year.

Consistent with past practice, the university immediately reviewed this information and self-reported the infractions to the NCAA and the Big Ten. In accordance with NCAA regulations, the university will not permit them to participate in the Sept. 3 game versus Akron. Although Ohio State has filed for their reinstatement for the remainder of the 2011 season, the university also is considering institutional sanctions for these student-athletes.

Athletics Director Gene Smith said, “We take this matter seriously. Our commitment to institutional integrity is steadfast, and we must hold everyone associated with our athletics programs accountable for lapses in judgment. We believe in transparency with the NCAA, all regulatory bodies and all of Buckeye Nation.”

The university will have no further comment.