(This is a guest series by MotSaG reader Jason Nafziger. He’ll be taking a weekly look at the college football polls and pointing out the absurd, the laughable and the head scratchers. Please note that Jason is not talking about the BlogPoll. Or my ballot to the BlogPoll.)

Now it’s time to get down to business. We are at the halfway point in the season and the initial BCS standings are out and they do not disappoint! By which I mean that they are awful, a mockery of justice and common sense.

1. Oklahoma

Despite sitting at #3 and #4 in the two human polls that make up a large portion of the standings, the Sooners find themselves poised to lose yet another BCS Championship Game. Their resume includes a convincing 30-point win over #17 Florida State, an 8-point victory against #19 Texas and several close calls against the likes of Utah State (7 points, USU is 2-4), Air Force (3 points, 5-2), and Cincinnati (2 points, 3-3). They face #11 Missouri this Saturday. At night. On the road. Can you feel it?

2. Oregon

The Ducks are an offensive machine, still keeping up an amazing pace of 0.9 points per minute. If they continue at this rate, they’ll waddle out of their bowl game with over 700 points. No, their defense is not great, and they haven’t played many impressive teams. Still, they are easily a top 5 team at this point. Unless you’re a BCS computer, that is. Only one number-cruncher has the Ducks ranked higher than #7.

3. Boise State

Boise State continues to coast on their “ impressive” wins over Virginia Tech (5-2) and Oregon State (3-3). Their last three opponents have a combined 6 wins so far this year, and there doesn’t appear to be a serious threat left on the schedule (although a loss at Nevada isn’t out of the question). The Broncos are going to need help to get to the title game, probably in the form of fewer than 2 undefeated BCS conference teams. Don’t count them out.

4. Auburn

The Tigers teamed up with Arkansas last week to steal all the points from all the other SEC games. The problem is, that shootout against a team that was missing its gunslinger for the majority of it is Auburn’s best win of the year. This team is highly suspect with 3-point wins against Mississippi State, Clemson (in OT), and Kentucky.

5. TCU

Another mid-major with a thin schedule, TCU rounds out the top 5 with just a 9-point win over Oregon State propping them up. The Frogs’ other 6 opponents have won an average of 3 games apiece, and that includes Tennessee Tech, a team that may not actually exist.

6. LSU
7. Michigan State
8. Alabama

Apparently, Nick Saban’s contract with the devil still applies even when he leaves a school.

9. Utah
10. Ohio State

I don’t like the look of that at all. Here’s hoping the Buckeyes rage against the rest of the Big Ten and storm back up the standings. There’s not a team above us that can’t be had.

The Breakdown (full Top 25): 24% SEC, 24% Big 12, 16% Big Ten, 12% Pac-10, 12% mid-major, 8% ACC, 4% Big East.

(This is a guest series by MotSaG reader Jason Nafziger. He’ll be taking a weekly look at the college football polls and pointing out the absurd, the laughable and the head scratchers. Please note that Jason is not talking about the BlogPoll. Or my ballot to the BlogPoll.)

Yeah, that happened. The season has officially begun as the preseason #1 has been taken out, execution-style, by an afterthought of a team coached by a former legend who by all accounts would rather be golfing. Also officially beginning this week is the Harris Interactive Poll, the other poll that actually means something in the BCS formula and the one that insists its better to wait and see teams in action before judging where they stand. A noble and logical approach, to be sure, and one that certainly results in at least a couple major differences from the weekly preseason adjustment method the Coaches’ Poll uses, right?

Well…

Here is what waiting six weeks to make an “informed” decision gets you: Four variations between the two polls, each of which is merely a one-spot swap of two teams (Nebraska and TCU share the #4 and #5 slots, etc.) Hoo boy! Good thing you spent all that time collecting and poring over data, eh? I bet those coaches feel like a bunch of mountain rubes now!

1. Ohio State
2. Oregon
3. Boise State

Both polls agree on the top three and if they all win out, only Boise is in real danger of getting jumped, should Nebraska or Oklahoma also go unbeaten. Things are shaping up for another messy situation for the BCS, which probably means the exact opposite will happen. A rematch of last year’s Rose Bowl would make an interesting title game and I know you’re all starving for another helping of Boise/TCU.

4. Nebraska
5. TCU
6. Oklahoma

Two mid-majors ranked before a single SEC team? Goodbye, Tebow, indeed.

7. Auburn
8. Alabama
9. LSU

Oh good, there they are! I was getting worried! Do you ever get the feeling that the voters use SEC teams like masonry mortar?

10. Utah

For those of you keeping score at home, that’s 30% Mid-Major, 30% SEC, 20% Big 12, 20% Teams That Will Play For The Title and not a single ACC or Big East team in the Top 10 (Florida State wanders in at #17, West Virginia at #25).

Next Week: Actual BCS Standings! There is some concern over certain prognosticators’ claims that our Buckeyes would be around #5 in the BCS right now. I don’t buy it, and I’m pretty confident that if Ohio State pulls out the win this weekend, they will be the BCS #1 come Monday.

October 3rd, 2009: 4-0 UM loses to MSU, finishes 5-7.
October 9th, 2010: 5-0 UM loses to MSU…

Image source (super schadenfruede & language warning): The Enlightened Spartan

(This is a guest series by MotSaG reader Jason Nafziger. He’ll be taking a weekly look at the college football polls and pointing out the absurd, the laughable and the head scratchers. Please note that Jason is not talking about the BlogPoll. Or my ballot to the BlogPoll.)Last week, I tried to summon up some drama in the polls by cheering for the underdogs in some of the big time battles on the slate. It almost worked…

1. Alabama
2. Ohio State

First, I attempted to dethrone the king, throwing my considerable influence (trust me, I was way under the influence) behind the Gators of Florida. If you’d ever wondered what it would look like if an elephant stomped on an alligator repeatedly for three hours (with a twenty minute break to pick pesky osteoderms out of the ridges on his soles), you got your answer Saturday night.

As for Ohio State, their win over Illinois was a little too close for comfort. With Oregon storming up the charts, Ohio State may need more than just wins to stay in the title hunt. Did I mention how much I hate the BCS?

3. Oregon
4. Boise State

These two swap places, and Boise’s dreams of finally crashing the title party are fading by the week. With no impressive opponents left, the Broncos should be able to run the table. Just like last year. I’m anticipating a similar outcome.

Oregon, meanwhile, thwarted my second upset try, overcoming a 21-3 first quarter deficit to shut Stanford out in the second half, bringing their own point total up to 283 for the season (that’s .94 per minute).

5. TCU
6. Nebraska
7. Oklahoma
8. Auburn
9. LSU
10. Utah

A little shakeup here, thanks to my final two upset spells. Michigan State offed Wisconsin and established themselves as a team the rest of Big Ten needs to start worrying about. And then, to bring my upset-sorcery record to an even .500, the newly hapful Vols of Tennessee pulled out a close one against LSU, taking advantage of some classic poor time management by Les Miles and—what? A penalty? They had HOW MANY guys on the field?!?

Anyway, let’s try this again:

Go Gamecocks!
Go Cougars!
Go Cyclones!
Go Spartans!

Next Week: The first Harris Poll of the year!!!! I know, but try to get some sleep.

(This is a guest series by MotSaG reader Jason Nafziger. He’ll be taking a weekly look at the college football polls and pointing out the absurd, the laughable and the head scratchers. Please note that Jason is not talking about the BlogPoll. Or my ballot to the BlogPoll.)

1. Alabama
2. Ohio State

Bama had a bit of a close call against Arkansas, while Ohio State had a call more comparable to deep space communication. Still and all, the top two remain unbeaten and on the path to meet for the title in January. Florida will try to make things interesting this weekend. Want something interesting until then? A group of elephants is known as a “memory,” while a group of alligators is a “congregation.”

3. Boise State
4. Oregon

Ah, finally. UCLA’s castration of the Longhorns sends Texas plummeting, and the Ducks quickly flew in to replace them. A group of ducks is a “flush.”

5. TCU
6. Nebraska

Despite a poor showing against South Dakota State’s “husk” of jackrabbits, the Cornhuskers get a bump up and become the highest ranked Big 12 team during Red River Shootout (and I still say IAA too) week.

7. Florida
8. Oklahoma
9. Wisconsin
10. LSU

And again, every team that didn’t lose is shifted up a spot to accommodate for those that did. I used to suspect that the coaches’ employed graduate assistants to fill out their ballots for them, but now I’m convinced it’s Price Is Right game designers.

So, in the interest of someone who writes (and the imaginary folk who read) a weekly piece about poll fluctuation, let me just say:

Go Gators!
Go Cardinal!
Go Spartans!
Go Vols!

Also, a group of cats can be called a nuisance, a destruction, a litter, a kindle, or a dout. Some collective noun coiner really hated cats.

(This is a guest series by MotSaG reader Jason Nafziger. He’ll be taking a weekly look at the college football polls and pointing out the absurd, the laughable and the head scratchers. Please note that Jason is not talking about the BlogPoll. Or my ballot to the BlogPoll.)

1. Alabama
2. Ohio State

Again, the two big dogs in the catbird seat(s) make the pollsters’ job as easy as shooting fish in a barrel. Now that all the animal-based cliches are out of the way, it’s time to make like a monkey and pick some nits.

3. Boise State
4. Texas

These two spots also remain the same from a week ago, which makes me wonder if the pollsters aren’t watching or are just afraid to make any waves. Boise State blasted Wyoming and did so in a more impressive fashion than Texas did a week ago, so I have no problem with putting the Broncos above the Longhorns. Still, Boise’s two victories are against teams that only have one win apiece, and those are against East Carolina and Southern Utah. At some point, who you’ve beaten has to come into play. Right now, I can’t see the justification for Boise at #3.

5. TCU
6. Oregon

More lack of movement, as both teams won convincingly. I’m kind of surprised that the voters didn’t jump the Ducks another spot or two after a third straight scoreboard-scrambling performance that pushed their season scoring rate to 1.05 points per minute.

7. Nebraska
8. Florida

These two swapped places, and we have arrived at my first real gripe so far. How is Nebraska not ranked higher than #7? Not only did the Husker D erase everything we thought we knew about Jake Locker, but Nebraska’s newbie at QB Taylor Martinez came out of the game looking like, well, what we thought Jake Locker was. Instead of playing like the stereotypically slow and plodding Big Ten team they’re about to be, Nebraska is sitting at #5 in the nation in scoring offense. If the pollsters are looking for a respectable team to put at #3, I think I found them.

Meanwhile, Florida continues to play the exact game every week regardless of opponent. I don’t even know who (or if) they play this Saturday, but put me down for Gators – 31, Other Team – 16.

9. Oklahoma
10. Wisconsin
11. Arkansas

We’ll just call this group the Teams Who Managed To Outlast Opponents They Should Be Far Better Than. Maybe Georgia is better than I think, but I’m pretty sure we all expected them to be the old tire on a rope during Mallett’s passing drills.