A-Z 2014 Buckeyes So Far Part 2

Finally that daggum bye week is over and OSU fans won’t have to deal with a Saturday of watching jerks from other schools play instead of the Bucks until next season.

What’s that, there is another one in two weeks?

Fine, I’m not even going to put any effort into this post, there is no point. Bye’s really suck the fun out of me (phrasing)…

Here is the rest of the A- Z Buckeye thoughts:





Part 1 for you “Forgetful Franks”: A-Z Part 1


Nobody throws to baby on the corner: Has Doran Grant even played a down this year? Honestly, I don’t remember him making a play so far- which is awesome. He is going all Shawn Springs- 0 interceptions yet still first team All-American- and is making himself more cash every week (draft stock not boosters you punks). Opposing quarterbacks haven’t really tested the cornerback at all in his final year so far.  The physical specimen will have his money making hands full this weekend against Cincinnati.

On the way Holme: At risk of being one of those ding-bat Ohio State fans that believes every freshmen is Woody’s gift to Earth and every senior plays like Betty White, I believe Jalyn Holmes is poised to take over opposite the gorgeous-Joey Bosa at defensive end pretty soon. Steve Miller and Rashad Frazier have been pretty average if you ask me and the freshmen’s talent maybe too much to keep off the field. Am I judging Holmes based off of one solid game against Kent State? I guess so, sometimes when you know you know.

Picktown Pride: Being a Pickerington child myself, I am very proud to say that the Ohio State starting offensive line is 40% P-town alumni with Pat Elflein and Jacoby Boren. It’s an awesome time for us east siders. Upper white middle class is going to take over NCAA football, you heard it here first.

Quit Scheduling Navy: Especially the first week of the season. Urban seemed none to pleased in post-game interviews and has said that a few early enrolled freshmen were only used as Navy wingbacks for the scout team from April to the start of the season. Why schedule a game that forces you to waste a kid’s first few months of practice for one game that you get no credit for winning? It’s even more maddening when you hear Bud Foster say that VA Tech was planning their surprise “bear” defense against Ohio State since spring ball while Ohio State had no time to plan for the Hokies. Speaking of…

Rye goes down smoothest: Almost the end of the month and many Buckeye fans are still not over the Virginia Tech debacle but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a learning experience.  Being an alcoholic on 12 Saturdays a year, September 6th taught me that the best way to force yourself to go to sleep after a maddening night is to drink Bulleit Rye Bourbon on the rocks until your eyes shut. It worked but my liver hasn’t spoken to me since.

S.S.S.: The Schedule switch stings in hindsight. Ohio State moving the VA Tech game up from week 3 to week 2 may have cost the Buckeyes a loss in my biased mind. With as many youngsters and as much time that was spent preparing for the goofy navy squad, it’s tough to not make the assumption that another week to prepare for the Hokies wouldn’t have made a world of difference. With that said, Frank Beamer’s squad had just as many young guys as the Buckeyes and Ohio State should not be making excuses for why they weren’t prepared for Virginia Tech… ever.

Thank heaven my wife is an English teacher: I’m privileged to get to write about Ohio State for the motsag but the only reason that happens is because a woman much smarter than me edits my gibberish before it is edited by my bosses. Oh what they would think if they saw my first drafts….

Under utilized: I’m sick and tired of  saying it- get the ball to the tight ends. Ohio State started doing it against Kent State last week but this needs to be an every week occurrence. Tim Hinton said yesterday that Jeff Heuerman is one of the best in the country at his position and some scouts feel he can be one of the top tight ends taken in next years draft. I’m ready to finally see why.

Virginia Tech- This is why we can’t give you nice wins: Losses to East Carolina and Georgia Tech after winning your biggest road game in school history make me giggle. That’s what you get when you put all your spring and fall camps into one game (yup still not over it). Michael Brewer was credited with having a terrific game against the Bucks, and not to toot my own horn, but I didn’t see it. Despite some nice scrambles and a solid td pass, he didn’t even throw for 200 yards and had three turnovers against Ohio State. He’s been the same in the last two losses.

Von Bell is a peach: The sophmore star from Georgia looks like he is going to be a big time playmaker in the next couple years. For the first time since the beginning of last season, Ohio State has a promising secondary.

When will they commit?: Damien Harris and Torrance Gibson are two crazy athletes who many consider to be Buckeye leans. The longer they wait the more nervous the leader gets, but most recruiting experts believe Ohio State is still in good shape with these two blue chippers.

X: Piss off I tried.

You can catch him: My boy Dontre Wilson had a decent start to the 2014 season yet a lot of Ohio State fans are expecting more. He has been so close to breaking the big one yet keeps getting tripped up. He’s averaging 5 yards a carry and 20 yards a catch, it just seems he hasn’t found the vision to become truly elite. Some really stupid fans will tell you that they are ready to give up on the sophmore h-back from Texas for others behind him; just laugh it off and imagine how bad Michigan would love to have an offensive back that averages 11 yards a touch.

Zeke needs to be the man: I’m ready for Ezekiel Elliot to get 15-20 carries a game. As much as I love Curtis Samuel, Zeke’s 225 pound frame will be more reliable between the tackles once the physical Big Ten season starts.  I think the 180 pound Samuel will be an outstanding compliment to the bigger Elliott. It’d just be nice to see the big boy run like he’s got 40 pounds on his backup.


Finally, after what seemed to be a ten year weekend, we get some real football back Saturday. I’m still upset we have to deal with another one of these bye’s so quickly but at least we aren’t UC fans. The Bearcats didn’t play the first two weeks during the season and I don’t know how their fans survived (oh yea I do, all of their fans are big time bandwagon dickweeds). If that was me I would have definitely looked at freezing myself or googled how to induce a two week coma.

Hopefully that the positives on this list will remain as such and the negatives will be forgotten quicker than the ice bucket challenge.

Who knows, maybe come December, we can finally forget about 9/6/14. I don’t know if I want to let it go though. I feel like heading down to the shoe this weekend all dressed in white and smoking cigarettes while following the happy nut fans around to remind them of that horrible night. We need to make sure they never forget- Leftovers style…






  1. Great article

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