Week 12: MotSaG B1G Pick ‘em and Tidbits

By: Phil Schoch, Twitter me @osuphil95

Each week Pick ’em & Tidbits risks public humiliation and mockery by predicting each B1G game, as well as a few national spotlight games, versus the Vegas spread.

I’m back, bay-bayee!!! Week 11 was the bounce-back I needed, as I soared to a record of 7-2 versus the spread and 8-1 straight up. My PM Stukenborg Fearless Prediction of Oklahoma (+3) over Baylor won convincingly.

My season tally stands at 62-62 (50%!!!) ATS and 92-32 (74.2%) SU. The goals of 50% and 75% and the subsequent fake fame and glory are at my fingertips!

But…

There are still a multitude of fake wagers to be placed. Still countless opportunities to choke (and drop to 45%) and bring fake shame upon my family. The merciless taunts my kindergarten son would suffer on the bus and the playground. No three year-old is going to share blocks with my pre-school daughter. Kids can be ruthless! Oh and the sideways looks, whispers and jeers my wife would endure in the cubicle thunder dome of the accounting department. The fake stakes are high in the world of a fake public gambler.

Disclaimer: Warning! I’m celebrating being .500. My picks are fake. Your money is real. Do not try this at home.

Saturday, November 21

Around the B1G…

Michigan is a magician with a drinking problem and a nervous twitch. Against Sparty, he sawed his assistant in half, then stood and watched as she bled-out. Against Minnesota, the rabbit went in motion for 12 seconds, then – presto – he was still able to pull the victory out of his helmet. Against Indiana, he made his own defense disappear, then – abracadabra – reappear on the final play.

Could this be Christian Hackenberg’s final home game for the Nittany Lions? Will the fans chant, “One more year!” or “Hey, it’s been nice, but you wouldn’t want to pass up an opportunity like the NFL, would you?” A word-y chant, sure, but it seems more likely than the first chant.

Pure Michigan tourism note: Colon, Michigan is the self proclaimed Magic Capital of the World. Is anyone surprised that Michigan would claim to have a magical Colon? With the massive amount of excrement percolating in Ann Arbor and Detroit, I’d think a magic Colon would be a necessity.

Pick ‘em says… Wolverines saw there assistant in two, but avoid major arteries. Michigan 28-17.

Iowa is 10-0 for the first time in program history! Kirk Ferentz agent has been burning up the phones trying to get an extension and raise for the legendary Hawkeye coach.

Pick ’em says… Purdue will scrap. Iowa will nap – but still win handily. Herky, 34-17.

A pair of limp-sworded Knights (Scarlet & Black) who have combined for an un-cavalier 5 wins this season.  

Pick ’em says… Do you have any B1G or Jersey pride, Rutgers? Enough to get the W, 27-17.

A salute to the creepiness of Tom Crean face.

Pick ’em says… Hoosiers are 4-6 with with winnable games left against Maryland & Purdue. They know that sweet Motor City Bowl swag is within their grasp – their very own city block in Detroit!

IU! PM! 34-30.

The winners of this battle of padded 8-2 squads wins $20 gift cards to The Mousehouse Cheesehaus for Wisconsin’s Finest Cheese, Sausage & Homemade Fudge! Located in lovely Windsor, Wisconsin.

Pick ’em says… The Wisconsin Curds, 24-18.

All season long, Ohio State and its fans have dined on a Michelina’s frozen entree-caliber schedule. At long last, Buckeye fans thought they were finally going to go to Bravo (I’m pretty sure they serve swell Italian food), but no, Sparty went and messed up that meal by losing to Nebraska and now were going to Fazoli’s. Sure I’ll eat a dozen greezy garlic breadsticks dipped in alfredo sauce and pay for it at 3 Am, but we all wanted more. Oh crap, next week is Michigan and I’m sure Harbaugh is going to want to go to the Olive Garden where, I’m pretty sure, the breadsticks are made from expandable foam insulation. I have completely lost track of this metaphor, cue the pick…

Pick ’em says… Once you get past the Michigan State defensive front four, it is a very average unit. Sparty’s offense does not have the playmakers and consistent running game of year’s past. Buckeyes, 38-20. 

National Spotlight games…

Just two weeks ago, both LSU and Ole Miss sported the all-important label – controls its own destiny to the college football playoff. Then stuff got real. LSU got pants’d the past two weeks by Bama and Arkansas. Ole Miss, slayer of Bama, lost to Memphis and Arkansas and now sits at 3 losses. I just want to watch to see which team completely quits on Saturday. I wish this was a night game, so I could drink celebratory Great Lakes Christmas Ale’s with a shots of Spartan tears and take in the sadness of these one-time destiny controllers. 

Pick ’em says… Don’t know. Don’t care. But there will be plenty of sad fan closeups. Ole Miss, 27-17.

Baylor finally played a decent team last week and lost. I know, without their starting QB, but it’s not like he was coming back for the playoff run. Okie State and Forever 40, Mike Gundy, avoided the mega-letdown last week at Iowa State. I’m surprised by the slim point spread.

Pick ’em says… Come after me! I’m a mam! I’m 40! Cowboys, 45-38. 

If TCU QB Trevone Boykin and WR Josh Doctson are not healthy enough to play against Oklahoma, the Sooner Schooner hype-wagon will roll on. TCU coach Gary Patterson said their status was “possibly questionable.”

Pick ’em says… Possible blowout. Sooners, 45-24.