MotSaG Bowl Guide, Part II: For a Few Dollars More

You might notice a common thread in our second batch of post-season offerings: they’re all on ESPN. In fact, all but 2 of the 36 total bowl games are on an ABC/ESPN network and the Worldwide Leader in Conflicts of Interest owns eight bowls outright, with another two on the way next year. It means whatever you think you means.


Little Caesars Bowl: Bowling Green vs. Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh notched a pair of wins over the Falcons in 1999/2000, while Bowling Green won the most recent matchup in 2008. Obligatory Program Cover Art. (ESPN)


Poinsettia Bowl: Northern Illinois vs. Utah State. These two teams played in 1995, with Utah State winning 42-7. Ingesting a poinsettia could cause vomiting and diarr–oh wait, I think this part was for the Little Caesars Bowl. (ESPN)


Military Bowl: Marshall vs. Maryland. MARSHALL! MARYLAND! MILITARY! That’s my pitch for the ad campaign for this game, starring Terry Crews as a turtle and Zach Galifianakis as the buffalo or whatever it’s a herd of that’s thundering. They would both be dressed in fatigues. Give me money. (ESPN)


Texas Bowl: Minnesota vs. Syracuse. Nothing says “Texas” like Minnesota and Syracuse. The Gophers hold the 3-1 all-time edge over the Orange, and this is an orange tie with gophers on it. (ESPN)


Fight Hunger Bowl: BYU vs. Washington. Washington is 65-34 all-time vs. teams named “Cougars,” while BYU is 4-4 against teams named “Huskies,” all eight of those games being against Washington. What does it all mean? NO MORE HUNGER! (ESPN)


Pinstripe Bowl: Notre Dame vs. Rutgers. These two teams have played four times, and Rutgers only scored in one of those games. When I searched for “Irish Knight,” I got this. Someone get Nolan on the phone! (ESPN)


Belk Bowl: Cincinnati vs. North Carolina. The Bearcats haven’t had much luck against the Tarheels, losing by 21 and 35 in their previous two meetings (1979 & 1991). There are no Belk stores in Ohio, but if you like unnecessary z’s, you can buy a pair of these online. They were literally the only product that came up when I searched for “Ohio.” (ESPN)


Russell Athletic Bowl: Louisville vs. Miami. Back in mid-October, you could have made an argument for these two teams to play for the national title. Oh well, lots of teams don’t get to play for the title. Enjoy your lousy bowl, jerks. (ESPN)


Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl: Kansas State vs. Michigan. While it’s unclear whether or not Brady Hoke realizes that his team has not been invited to play in an enormous bowl of actual buffalo wings, we do know that he has expertly executed his five-year plan so far by landing the Wolverines in three consecutive food-related bowls. (ESPN)

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