It happens every year: that one week where there just aren’t many compelling match-ups. If I told you the ABC prime-time game this Saturday was a choice between North Dakota State @ BYU or Towson @ Akron, how excited would you be? Well, those aren’t the games, but the real ones feature teams who were beaten (or almost beaten until they were saved by shoddy officiating) by those teams. As a bonus, special guest Bo Pelini was secretly recorded giving his opinion on this week’s games.
Thursday
7:30pm
Clemson at N.C. State. N.C. State had a much-needed bye last week after narrowly defeating the Richmond Spiders, which is possibly a team made up of actual spiders. Bo Says: “I @#$!%$ hate spiders. They can kiss my #@%!” (ESPN)
Friday
9:00pm
Boise State at Fresno State. Fresno State had a bye last week because their opponent, Colorado, was under water. This week their opponent plays on a blue football field which, according to a popular lie, birds often mistake for water. Bo Says: “Football fields are #$%@&# green! Boise State can kiss my #%$!” (ESPN)
Saturday
Noon
Florida A&M at Ohio State. The Rattlers are 1-2 and are just now playing their paycheck game. I try not to be overconfident, but I feel like we could start the band and win this game. Bo Says: “Rattlers? Spiders? Are you trying to give me a @#$%%$#@ heart attack?!” (BTN)
3:30pm
Arkansas at Rutgers. It’s our old buddy Bret Bielema, who bailed on the B1G after breaking Nebraska’s defense apparently beyond repair. His Razorbacks are 3-0 and are looking for their first win over a somewhat decent team in future B1G pal Rutgers. He’d better hope for a win here, because his next four opponents are: Texas A&M, Florida, South Carolina and Alabama. And we’re all going to enjoy that! Bo Says: “TACKLE!!! TACKLE!!! HOLY @@#%$## @!$& SOMEBODY TACKLE!!!” (ESPN)
Michigan State at Notre Dame. Okay, well this one could be fun. The Spartans unveiled a new trick play called “Scoring Repeatedly On Offense” last week and their defense remains top-notch. It would be nice for the B1G to get to 2-1 vs. the Domers. Bo Says: “Looks like a good game.” (NBC)
Tennessee at Florida. It’s a battle of SEC East Teams Who Are Still Blaming Everything On Former Coaches. Bo Says: “Either of you guys taking applications?” (CBS)
7:00pm
Arizona State at Stanford. I don’t think this will be a good game, but it might be worth watching to see if karma exists in the college football universe. Bo Says: “@#$&%! refs are just %$#^&* worthless! @#$&!$ #$%% !@&*$% $$%@^!” (Fox)
8:00
Kansas State at Texas OR Michigan at UConn. LOL WUT? Bo Says: “$%&@ this, I’m watching Pawn Stars.” (ABC)
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