If this was any other week, I would spend most of this post talking about today’s addition of Maryland to the Big Ten and the rumored addition of Rutgers supposedly coming tomorrow. I would then discuss the shocking upsets of this past weekend that essentially guaranteed at least one SEC team will be playing for the national title. Then I would make jokes about games that I’ll end up watching anyway.
But this is HATE WEEK. And HATE WEEK is for the HATE.
Some people don’t understand the HATE. They say things like, “I want both teams to be good when they play!” and “I don’t like them, but I respect them!” and “Durrrrrrrrrrr!” These people cheered for Michigan to beat Alabama, because they have fallen for the media-driven conference-unity narrative that has completely consumed the SEC. Does it make sense that a Mississippi State fan would ridicule an Ohio State fan because the Buckeyes lost a bowl game to Florida? Does it make sense that a Mississippi State fan would ridicule an Ohio State fan for any reason?
But cheering for M!c#!g@n? I’d rather be the one team shut out of a 123-team playoff than cheer for M!c#!g@n to “help boost our strength of schedule.” I want them to be 0-11 every year when we play. I want to see about a hundred more of these! Every three years, I want them to fire their coach the day after The Game.
And speaking of coaches…
There really couldn’t be a better M!c#!g@n coach for Ohio State fans. He’s a walking punchline. Are fat jokes cheap and sophomoric? Yes, but all is forgiven because Hoke set himself up for every single one of them a long time ago and not just by promising to never not super-size. But by doing this:
That’s right, Hoke married a Homberger. Say it out loud. Say it in your best Hoke voice. Never stop laughing. But, more importantly, never stop HATING.