The Kind of Hate I Can Get Behind

Ted Glover at Off Tackle Empire (formerly known as The Rivalry, Esq.) lets loose with both barrels, and it’s a beautiful thing. Be advised, the language is a tad NSFW but given the subject matter, highly acceptable if you ask me.

I demand that you read it in its entirety.

First he establishes that anyone who is a fan of a college football team outside of Ann Arbor joins us in our (completely justified) hatred of a certain school disturbingly close to Canada:

When I identify myself as an Ohio State fan, most people think ‘as a college football fan this guy is probably 95% asshole, but I can get along with the 5% of him that hates Michigan.’  First off, way to be a judgmental ass because you don’t know a thing about me, but it’s okay.  Secondly, I’m cool with that, because the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

He goes on a bit (seriously, read the whole thing) and then he wraps it up with a sentiment only too many of us can understand.

And OSU fan, don’t give me this horseshit that ‘the rivalry is lacking’, and ‘it’s not fun anymore’. Really? Fuck you and your ‘it’s not fun anymore’. This is a bacon orgasm, and I don’t ever want it to end. I don’t know about you, but I’m having so much fun over Michigan’s current run of suck I’m singing zippity-doo-da out of my ass.

Why? Because I remember the Cooper era; it’s burned into my soul and will never go away. Some people talk about war vets that have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), I have PTCED–Post Traumatic Cooper Era Disorder. Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night screaming in cold sweats because RB Tim Biakabdfosdfasasdfsdcvcsdflguxfvbjkzxdfgtuka just scored again, or Shawn Springs fell again, or Desmond Howard did the Heisman pose again, or John Cooper pooped himself on the sideline–again. No, what’s happening to Michigan now can happen for another 100 years for all I care.

If I didn’t make it clear before, READ THE WHOLE THING. It’s beautiful, there’s a bacon reference, and I think it fits in with our new John Kreese, “strike first, strike hard, show no mercy” philosophy for OSU football going forward. Take an opponent who has been scuffling as of late and rather than offering a hand up, smack him in the face with an iron gauntlet. Then pee on him like R. Kelly.

Comments

  1. Bacon- I am fired up having read that and cant thank you enough for showing me I am not alone in this world 🙂

  2. You are not alone. We are here with you.

    Well, not really. You are alone. So very alone. But if someone’s gonna be drawing hate from other fan sites, I prefer it be me.

  3. Hey, thanks for the kind words. Glad you liked it.

    Fuck Michigan!

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: