Poll Dancing: Week Five, or “We’re Installing a 4-5-4 Defense”

(This is a guest series by MotSaG reader Jason Nafziger. He’ll be taking a weekly look at the college football polls and pointing out the absurd, the laughable and the head scratchers. Please note that Jason is not talking about the BlogPoll. Or my ballot to the BlogPoll.)Last week, I tried to summon up some drama in the polls by cheering for the underdogs in some of the big time battles on the slate. It almost worked…

1. Alabama
2. Ohio State

First, I attempted to dethrone the king, throwing my considerable influence (trust me, I was way under the influence) behind the Gators of Florida. If you’d ever wondered what it would look like if an elephant stomped on an alligator repeatedly for three hours (with a twenty minute break to pick pesky osteoderms out of the ridges on his soles), you got your answer Saturday night.

As for Ohio State, their win over Illinois was a little too close for comfort. With Oregon storming up the charts, Ohio State may need more than just wins to stay in the title hunt. Did I mention how much I hate the BCS?

3. Oregon
4. Boise State

These two swap places, and Boise’s dreams of finally crashing the title party are fading by the week. With no impressive opponents left, the Broncos should be able to run the table. Just like last year. I’m anticipating a similar outcome.

Oregon, meanwhile, thwarted my second upset try, overcoming a 21-3 first quarter deficit to shut Stanford out in the second half, bringing their own point total up to 283 for the season (that’s .94 per minute).

5. TCU
6. Nebraska
7. Oklahoma
8. Auburn
9. LSU
10. Utah

A little shakeup here, thanks to my final two upset spells. Michigan State offed Wisconsin and established themselves as a team the rest of Big Ten needs to start worrying about. And then, to bring my upset-sorcery record to an even .500, the newly hapful Vols of Tennessee pulled out a close one against LSU, taking advantage of some classic poor time management by Les Miles and—what? A penalty? They had HOW MANY guys on the field?!?

Anyway, let’s try this again:

Go Gamecocks!
Go Cougars!
Go Cyclones!
Go Spartans!

Next Week: The first Harris Poll of the year!!!! I know, but try to get some sleep.

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