Ex-Clevelanders Can’t Jump

If you haven’t heard, Ohio Governor John Kasich issued a resolution on Monday that honors the NBA-champion Dallas Mavericks as “Honorary Ohioans.”

In particular, he recognized MVP Dirk Nowitzki, who “chose to keep his talents in Dallas by renewing his contract with the Mavericks in 2010 and foregoing free agency.”


In response, LeBron issued a statement that said, “John, I don’t mean to brag, but I’m the greatest!”

Gov Kasich then responded “You still putting up bricks? What is this a masons convention? Clang!! Clang!! You need a welding torch to play in this league. Let’s stop right now and gather up all these bricks and build a shelter for the homeless so that your mother will have a place to live!!”


In all seriousness, though, LeBron deserves credit for attempting to make good on his good-natured $1 wager with a Cleveland fan over the outcome of the finals. When confronted to pay up, he gave the fan 75 cents and sheepishly declared, “Sorry, I don’t have a fourth quarter.”

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