SOUTH BEND, INDIANA – Earlier today, Notre Dame officials were surprised to learn that the Fighting Irish football team had dropped to 0-5 on the season, after somehow losing during their bye weekend.
“I’m not exactly sure what happened,” said head coach Charlie Weis. “We lost to the Spartans on Saturday, which left us four games down, now they’re telling me that we lost to the bye week too. I’m confused.”
The loss has exacerbated the failures of the Notre Dame program, and has only added to the most disappointing season in team history.
Amazingly, until its win over the Irish, the Bye Week had never won a game in its 120-year history. Its victory finally ends the NCAA’s longest-running record of 78,232 losses in a row.
“I’m not sure what the big deal is about that record, though,” said Weis. “I mean, it’s just statistically likely to happen sooner or later. Go ahead and blame me, if you want. I think. I mean, that Bye Week doesn’t have a Super Bowl ring, does it? So it doesn’t know everything. What were we talking about?”
The football team is facing severe criticism from fans and alumni. Athletic department officials are already threatening to limit Weis’ contract extension to only eight more years. By 2015, say most Notre Dame fans, these Tyrone Willingham-related losses are expected to finally come to an end.
[…] Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse for the Fighting Irish … now this. […]