Pathetic Ginn slows in front of scouts

OSU FootballSigh…

When will Big Ten players learn? Running a 4.4 / 40 with an ankle that’s just been removed from a cast is the type of pathetic performance that we’ve all come to expect from a non-SEC player. Scouts were disappointed, but not surprised, at the Cleveland native’s predictable sloth-like jog.

ESPN broadcaster Brent Musberger also wasn’t impressed. “Big Ten 4.4 speed isn’t the same as SEC 4.4 speed,” he said. “Time moves slower down south, something about the corioloiodis force or something like that. So 4.4 down there is like 10.5 up here. Or is it the other way around? Whatever. Besides, Ginn’s not as courageous as Brady Quinn anyway.”

Musberger’s remarks were echoed by Charlie Weis. Weis showed up at the Ginn workout and lobbied scouts for the courageous Brady Quinn. Interrupting a high-jump exercise, Weis called a press conference and reminded the scouts that, even though Quinn is 17-19 against teams not called Stanford, BYU, or [INSERT NAME HERE] Service Academy, he is courageous and therefore an NFL lock.

Quinn was asked for his courageous opinion on the matter, but was unable to extricate himself from one of his brother-in-law’s super-industrial noogies.

When asked about Ted Ginn, Jr.’s workout, former Gator quarterback and future CFL punt-return specialist Chris Leak said, “Yeah, but did he go to a southern school? Did he practice getting tackled on soft grass instead of the frozen tundra of Cleveland? Does he live within a hundred miles of a Disney theme park? I rest my case.”

The general consensus from the scouts was that Ginn should immediately transfer to the I-AA Everglades Community College Mudbugs, then declare for the NFL draft next year. There, he could compete for the starting WR job, thus proving his mettle in the eyes of southern peers.

Comments

  1. memphismadison says

    Now you wouldn’t be BITTER about Ohio State losing to Florida in the national championship game, would you?

  2. Buckeye in Big D says

    Hilarious stuff. Maybe Ted should have worked out in the south – wouldn’t that help some? Perhaps if they piped in the ND fight song during the work out he’d be more courageous?

  3. memphismadison – *sob* WHICH national championship game are you *sob* referring to?

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