“Are you stupid or something?”

FootballWe really like you.

“Yeah? Thanks a lot.”

We’re going to form a company to market you.

“Groovy, dude.”

Are you into it?

“Sure, man. Whatever.”

Here’s a house.

“Cool.”

Here’s a car.

“Thanks. Hey, it needs fixed up, though.”

Here’s some money to fix it up.

“Sweet.”

Here’s some more money to pay off your mama’s bills.

“Okay.”

TWO YEARS PASS

So, we gonna do business?

“Nah.”

Pay us back, then.

“No.”

Pay us back or we’ll sue you.

bushSaints.jpg“That’s not cool. I spent your money already. And Yahoo! is already asking too many questions.”

What are you gonna do about it?

“I’m going to formally accuse you of extortion, even though the resulting investigation will no doubt uncover proof of my illicit activities with you, ruin my reputation, and vacate the hard-fought accomplishments of my college teammates. This is better than paying you the equivalent of half a game’s salary for me.”

Are you stupid or something?

“Apparently.”

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